Do You Assume the Best or the Worst?

~ patwdoyle11

I am a bit addicted to Facebook (even though I am told it’s for old-fogies now). But I follow a number of inspirational sites and often they provide me with a wonderful phrase for the day, or a question that stirs my contemplation. One that came up recently was, “Do you assume the best or the worst of a person?”  And the second part was, “Do you surround yourself with others who assume the best or the worst of a person?”   

I realized that for the most part, I assume the best of a person. I tend to trust people, except for a couple of people who have repeatedly broken that trust. But I do know people who assume the worst of almost everyone. And the anxiety that creates whenever I interact with them makes me wonder why I stay connected with them!

I also tend to have high expectations; in general, I expect things to work out at the best end of things, not the worst end.  I’ve been told repeatedly to lower my expectations, so I am not continuously disappointed. Yes, I might vent at times when someone/something does not meet expectations, but I hope I am not one who consistently makes negative remarks about other’s capabilities or assumptions about malicious intent of others.

Apparently, this “keep attention on the upside” mental approach means I am a Strategic Optimist.  I like that term.

Regarding expectations, I spent last weekend at DisneyWorld with my niece and grandniece. I purposefully went in with no expectations, no pre-thinking.  How did I (a high expectations, but over-think and plan for all possible issues, individual) manage that?  No quite sure, but house issues, garden club workload, and a consistent mental message track of, “You will take things as they come; just go with the flow” seemed to help. And it was a delightful time. I had not been to DisneyWorld in over 20 years (even though it’s close enough for a day visit). Yes, it is crazy expensive, for everything. Yes, it is crazy busy – so many people, everywhere. Yes, there is a lot of walking! But it is also well run, the staff is so pleasant, and the experiential branding is spot on. 

Below are few pictures from the visit.Yes, I bought the ears. We went to celebrate my 21-year-old grandniece’s birthday with a “drink around the world” experience at Epcot and managed to do 7 countries. (You’ll note the multiple drinking pictures.) I was not the deciding factor for not hitting all 11 possible countries! We just ran out of time given they had also planned, and we did, 4 parks in 2 days!  I did mention a lot of walking.

So, no high expectations to not be met. Maybe there is something to be said for not having high expectations. And that means I’m starting to learn how to have better grounded realism!  Perhaps Realistic Optimist is my goal.  Here’s the AI difference: “Strategic optimism focuses on maintaining positive expectations and forward momentum without overthinking potential failures, while realistic optimism involves expecting good outcomes while actively acknowledging and preparing for real-world constraints and challenges.”  In either case, it feels nice to be back into a positivity mindspace!

Do you consider yourself an optimist?  Do you assume the best or the worst of others? 

P.S.  House update:  Exterior painting is done (yellow with white trim!), except for the touchups. Interior walls are all prepped to paint and interior ceilings are painted. They began the floor tile; all the tile work (floors, bathrooms, kitchen, etc) will take almost 2 weeks. Interior doors are in the local warehouse awaiting delivery; exterior doors all ordered. It’s coming together!

Copyright © 2026 retirementtransition.blog – All rights reserved.

Unknown's avatar

Published by patwdoyle11

Life is a series of transitions and my blog captures my retirement transition journey.

13 thoughts on “Do You Assume the Best or the Worst?”

  1. Congratulations on those exciting milestones with the house build, Pat! Your trip looks so fun. I typically assume the best of people and when I’m disappointed with someone, I try to give them the grace of believing they are doing the best they can with the skills and knowledge they have in this moment. That may not always be true, but it helps me remain positive and loving towards others. I’m not perfect at that mindset, but it’s what I strive for.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I read your “doing the best they can with the skills they have” and realized I need to do that a bit more. But it also made me think of the southern phrase, “bless your heart”.

      Unfortunately one of the people I’m working with regularly thinks their skills are way better than they are. They claim to be an expert (in fact, have pointed out that “this is my expertise” when they have taken over things from others, including me), and then their work is sub-par. Luckily I’m learning also to say, “it’s good enough”!

      Like

      Reply

  2. Glad to see/hear about the progress on the house. A trip to Disney World sounds like a hoot! I loved Epcot.

    I am an optimist. My husband is a pessimist. It drives me a little nuts how so many things he says are all the possible things that can go wrong in every situation. I mean 99.999% of this stuff doesn’t happen, so why waste the mental energy?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I’m a recovering pessimist, working on being an optimist. But, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one with a pessimist hubby. Sometimes I just want to scream, “can’t you be happy about it?”

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  3. You have interior work started but no exterior doors on? That would not work in my world! Things like bugs on paint and rodents inside would occur. That’s the realistic view! The pessimistic one would be even worse! I’m very much a realistic optimist. My dad was an incredible pessimist and it really influenced me to go strongly in the other direction.
    I’m so glad you had a wonderful visit with your niece and grand niece. It looks like a good time.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Well, we did have a bird’s nest in the house for a while. The crew took it out to the bird sanctuary when they had to frame in the rafters. Doors will go in before the interior painting is done. In fact, all the doors (except pretty front one) were delivered this week.

      It’s actually been interesting seeing the different approaches to the build from different builders. We have over 100 houses in our town at some stage of building. The ones I was more concerned with were the ones who drywalled before they did “dry in” – sealing roof and walls. And yes, many had wet drywall, we are in the rainy season now.

      Like

      Reply

  4. I’m definitely an optimist…not sure about the strategic vs realistic part LOL I assume the best of people unless my ‘spidie’ senses kick in, then my guard goes up. I love visits with my niece & great niece (although it will be quite some time before my great niece will be drinking around the world – she’ll be 8 in Nov!)
    I’m glad you had such a nice time with them and were able to just go with the flow.
    I really like the yellow paint on the house – it looks so happy and inviting 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I was surprised how much fun the three days with them were. I had not spent that much continuous time with them ever – visits are usually with more of the kids, and often we (hubby and i) have our own space to bolt to. My niece has 5 kids, ages 8-21.

      And yes, I’m trying to listen more to my “spidiey sense” as well. I had a gut feel on someone in the neighborhood, and he recently showed my gut was right – he’s a sleaze and now I need to just avoid him (and his wife). Life is to short to have to deal with people like that.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. Hi Pat, lovely to hear the house progress at the end, and I love the sunny yellow of the exterior – it sets you up for having a happy house. I also really liked seeing all your Disney photos and that you were out and about having an experience that didn’t need you to be “running the show” – so much less pressure.

    In answer to your question….. I’m making less assumptions about people these days and waiting for them to show who they are. I don’t understand people who aren’t friendly or kind and if that’s what they show me then I’m off to find someone else. I’m also working at keeping my expectations on a more realistic level too. x

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Leanne, My therapist actually told me to “listen to my gut” about people more. When I see people show their “true colors” (meanness, power plays, narcissism), I just need to be okay with walking away. As you know, sometimes it’s not the easiest thing to do. I continue to work on boundaries and realistic expectations.

      Like

      Reply

Leave a comment