Do You Assume the Best or the Worst?

I am a bit addicted to Facebook (even though I am told it’s for old-fogies now). But I follow a number of inspirational sites and often they provide me with a wonderful phrase for the day, or a question that stirs my contemplation. One that came up recently was, “Do you assume the best or the worst of a person?”  And the second part was, “Do you surround yourself with others who assume the best or the worst of a person?”   

I realized that for the most part, I assume the best of a person. I tend to trust people, except for a couple of people who have repeatedly broken that trust. But I do know people who assume the worst of almost everyone. And the anxiety that creates whenever I interact with them makes me wonder why I stay connected with them!

I also tend to have high expectations; in general, I expect things to work out at the best end of things, not the worst end.  I’ve been told repeatedly to lower my expectations, so I am not continuously disappointed. Yes, I might vent at times when someone/something does not meet expectations, but I hope I am not one who consistently makes negative remarks about other’s capabilities or assumptions about malicious intent of others.

Apparently, this “keep attention on the upside” mental approach means I am a Strategic Optimist.  I like that term.

Regarding expectations, I spent last weekend at DisneyWorld with my niece and grandniece. I purposefully went in with no expectations, no pre-thinking.  How did I (a high expectations, but over-think and plan for all possible issues, individual) manage that?  No quite sure, but house issues, garden club workload, and a consistent mental message track of, “You will take things as they come; just go with the flow” seemed to help. And it was a delightful time. I had not been to DisneyWorld in over 20 years (even though it’s close enough for a day visit). Yes, it is crazy expensive, for everything. Yes, it is crazy busy – so many people, everywhere. Yes, there is a lot of walking! But it is also well run, the staff is so pleasant, and the experiential branding is spot on. 

Below are few pictures from the visit.Yes, I bought the ears. We went to celebrate my 21-year-old grandniece’s birthday with a “drink around the world” experience at Epcot and managed to do 7 countries. (You’ll note the multiple drinking pictures.) I was not the deciding factor for not hitting all 11 possible countries! We just ran out of time given they had also planned, and we did, 4 parks in 2 days!  I did mention a lot of walking.

So, no high expectations to not be met. Maybe there is something to be said for not having high expectations. And that means I’m starting to learn how to have better grounded realism!  Perhaps Realistic Optimist is my goal.  Here’s the AI difference: “Strategic optimism focuses on maintaining positive expectations and forward momentum without overthinking potential failures, while realistic optimism involves expecting good outcomes while actively acknowledging and preparing for real-world constraints and challenges.”  In either case, it feels nice to be back into a positivity mindspace!

Do you consider yourself an optimist?  Do you assume the best or the worst of others? 

P.S.  House update:  Exterior painting is done (yellow with white trim!), except for the touchups. Interior walls are all prepped to paint and interior ceilings are painted. They began the floor tile; all the tile work (floors, bathrooms, kitchen, etc) will take almost 2 weeks. Interior doors are in the local warehouse awaiting delivery; exterior doors all ordered. It’s coming together!

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5 thoughts on “Do You Assume the Best or the Worst?

  1. Glad to see/hear about the progress on the house. A trip to Disney World sounds like a hoot! I loved Epcot.

    I am an optimist. My husband is a pessimist. It drives me a little nuts how so many things he says are all the possible things that can go wrong in every situation. I mean 99.999% of this stuff doesn’t happen, so why waste the mental energy?

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  2. You have interior work started but no exterior doors on? That would not work in my world! Things like bugs on paint and rodents inside would occur. That’s the realistic view! The pessimistic one would be even worse! I’m very much a realistic optimist. My dad was an incredible pessimist and it really influenced me to go strongly in the other direction.
    I’m so glad you had a wonderful visit with your niece and grand niece. It looks like a good time.

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  3. I’m definitely an optimist…not sure about the strategic vs realistic part LOL I assume the best of people unless my ‘spidie’ senses kick in, then my guard goes up. I love visits with my niece & great niece (although it will be quite some time before my great niece will be drinking around the world – she’ll be 8 in Nov!)
    I’m glad you had such a nice time with them and were able to just go with the flow.
    I really like the yellow paint on the house – it looks so happy and inviting 😊

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  4. Hi Pat, lovely to hear the house progress at the end, and I love the sunny yellow of the exterior – it sets you up for having a happy house. I also really liked seeing all your Disney photos and that you were out and about having an experience that didn’t need you to be “running the show” – so much less pressure.

    In answer to your question….. I’m making less assumptions about people these days and waiting for them to show who they are. I don’t understand people who aren’t friendly or kind and if that’s what they show me then I’m off to find someone else. I’m also working at keeping my expectations on a more realistic level too. x

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