My new tool this year is a monthly look back to celebrate the things I did in the month. I realized that I too often let milestones slip by without recognition, do not fully appreciate the life I’m living, and can spiral down into a negative compare & despair or I’m not enough mindset. I needed a monthly reminder to boost my appreciation of life. It’s more than the daily gratitude list. It’s celebrating that I am living my retirement lifestyle vision:
Active Body, Connected Heart, Creative Spirit, Contemplative Mind.
It’s a simple tool – look back on the month at what I did with a sense of celebrating the accomplishments, however small. I review my gratitude list, my calendar, my blogs, my camera photos. And realize once again how much I do not take photos!
My blog posts this month were fewer (only 3 versus my normal 4-5) but a bit more upbeat. I’m definitely working on acceptance, which was interestingly a word I explored for a word of the year (WOTY), but ended up not picking one (link here).
- In a post about Heart’s Desire (link here) – I talked about clarifying what I truly want, versus what I’ve been conditioned to believe I want. And accepting the reality of life as it is.
- Summer is Here (link here) – I contemplated trying to have a summer that was not overly planned, accepting that summer is our quieter season.
- Overthinking (link here ) – I gave myself a pep talk about shifting my thinking patterns from compare & despair to acceptance.
Looking at my final May “I Did It”, I was surprised my list had 43 items on it! Yes, there were the regular weekly and monthly things I do – from exercise routines to club meetings to self-care. But there were some new experiences, lots of connections, fun with crafts and the garden, and a couple of “finally done” things. I actually hosted a gathering at our house (book club) and I bought and wore a sari-like skirt I purchased, both things I mentioned in my Heart’s Desire blog post!
There was a major pivot on hubby’s knee replacement surgery, as his doctor had a cancellation opening, meaning a big shift on things planned. Even with fewer plans on the calendar, things needed to be shifted/cancelled! He’s doing well, but it’s a long recovery road. I’m happy to spend time to support him, and provide regular ice packs!
As I look at the list, I can take a big deep breath and not only say “I did it”, but also “I’m living the life I want”. I might still spiral down at times (working on that), but it’s a good tool to have to bring me back up!
What tools do you use to boost your appreciation of life?
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What tools do you use to boost your appreciation of life?
Interesting question. Every night I remind myself of three things for which I was grateful during the day. Is that a tool or a habit? I also have a few mantras I say to myself to remind me that I’m doing okay, thus appreciating what I have going on. Again, is that a tool or a habit? No answer, rhetorical question.
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Ally, Even though it’s rhetorical, I think they are both – tools and habits. We use tools all the time in our habits – toothbrush, sponge, pen. I’ve been using the mantra “take it one day at a time” lately, which is a new one to me (the consummate planner).
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Hi Pat, I hope your husband is progressing well with his recovery from knee replacement surgery. My niece (45) just had her right knee replaced in early May and she’s doing well. As you may recall I posted this weekend about being in a slump so I can definitely relate to getting down and needing to find ways to bring myself back up. I actually spent several hours in my sewing room today and for the last 4 days I’ve been taking a 30 min walk after dinner. It’s usually the little things that make the biggest difference.
I’ve been using the WBOYC linkup to recap my month; it really helps me realize how much I’m doing because sometimes it feels like I never leave the house LOL
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Sharon, I chuckled at your “feels like I never leave the house” cause that is exactly how I felt this week! I’m playing support role for hubby – pretty much making sure the ice machine is full of ice. That and hanging with him as he’s in the ice & elevation period of recovery.
So glad to hear about you getting back into the sewing room and for doing an evening walk. This week, even with playing support role, I took time to head to my cardio drumming a few days – good for both my physical and mental health. Yeah, its the little things!
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Hi Pat. Sounds like you’re finding your stride! And finding real success in being yourself! There is a conundrum I’ve felt in retirement — we are now independent and completely autonomous, so we need to consider what to do with more free time that satisfies. And while we may want to shoot for the stars, which is great for some things, there’s also room for smaller things. Room for not pushing ourselves, but allowing ourselves to really be comfortable with our choice of activities without the need for the “uncomfortable” bar. Now that’s accomplishment. It’s been hard to both drive and direct myself without holding on to old working standards to outperform. I guess freedom takes time to get comfortable with!
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Judi, You articulate it so well! I no longer want to be pushing at the “uncomfortable bar”! At times, I feel guilty about that (feel like a failure, feel less than, feel like I should), but I really don’t want to push for mastery. I just want to have fun in the activity! Early on in retirement I had the mantra, “it’s about engagement, not mastery”. Hard for a person who always tried to exceed expectations, who pushed for mastery in her career.
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Pat, it sounds as if you are finding a pace for your life that is satisfying. Of course, we all spiral down from time to time, but having the tools to pick ourselves back up is the key. You have developed exactly what you need. Now, it is all about trusting yourself.
Best of luck as hubby recovers. I hear that one (knee surgery) takes a lot of patience and hard work. Smart to do it in summer when we are looking for indoor projects! Take care.
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Suzanne, Yes, I have those spirals down, but tools like this I Did it List help me to see my life is pretty darn good! This week, I’ve tried to keep a positive mindset as hubby fights the significant pain associated with a total knee replacement. We are taking it one day at a time.
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Hi Pat – I love how positive you sound in this post – it’s like some of your doubts have been put to rest and you’ve realized that you’ve been living a great life without even noticing it! I hope the knee recovery goes well for your husband (make sure he does the exercises – that’s crucial) and that you still find plenty to do when you’re not being his nurse and cheerleader over the weeks ahead. Happy June!
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Leanne, Being nurse & cheerleader this week has taken a lot of mind-space, if not actual time. But he’s doing OK. Luckily, his personality is one that will do the exercises without reminder! And if he’s told do 3-5, he’ll do 5! He’s doing outdoor 30-40 minute walks now, which is challenging with our early summer heat (high of 33C yesterday). I’m still trying to fit in my cardio drumming, as it gives me both a physical and mental boost!
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