Energy Flow this Week

As I continue to focus on resilience and emotional regulation, I keep reading things about energy flow.  Not just the idea of where “your attention goes, so your energy flows”.  I am also trying to pay attention to what increases my energy and what deletes it.  I’ve been watching my energy flow more carefully this week.  

I saw this question the other day about energy – are you keeping any energy to respond to an emergency?  And it made me realize that almost every day, by 7:30 PM I am ready for bed.  I am too tired to even read and comprehend a book.  (No wonder I’m behind on my book club reading!)  In my journal I replied to this question with, “Stop feeling responsible for everything and saying yes to everything.” 

And I then said no to a request at a board meeting. I had 2 people reach out and repeat the request, trying to get me to change my mind “because we really need you to do it”. But I stayed firm. It’s not just the activity. It’s the thinking I will do in anticipation. The planning what to say and what not to say, to each and every possible scenario my brain will come up with. I also said no to making phone calls that I knew would be draining and not very productive. 

I saw another quote about spending time – when you spend time with someone or on something, you are saying, “Out of everything I could be doing, I am choosing to do this/ I am choosing to spend this time with you”. And that hit me hard after a very long phone conversation I did not plan and did not deserve the amount of time I gave to it!  I looked more closely at my mental load (reference blog post here on mental load) – both the calendar busyness (time spent) and the mental load (thinking time). The mental load on the house is big. I created a list of things I’m juggling in my thinking. It is currently 34 items long. Ack. And yet the garden club activities took up more than 40% of my daily time this past week.

But there are glimmers of better energy flow management:

  • I am beginning to believe my new mantra: I am enough. I do enough. I have enough. 
  • I am being more accepting of compliments. Recognizing them, hearing them, feeling them and not just tossing them away. (positive energy)
  • I am saying no. 
  • I am not feeling guilty for maintaining the boundaries I’ve set on distancing from energy drains.
  • I am making sure there is some downtime in my schedule. (Not yet enough… too many yesses in the past, but some!)
  • I need to be more conscious as to where I am choosing to spend my time.

As I look at the upcoming week, I’m excited to have a day trip with hubby planned. I don’t “choose to spend time” with him nearly enough.  And there are currently two very open (nothing much on the schedule) days. Reading time? Crafting time? Do nothing time?

The cringe question I am dealing with these days is, “Do you have a move-in date?” Because no, we don’t and it feels like a failure to say that.  I’m failing at getting this project done. Delays continue, all out of my control, but still frustrating. We did, however, get the roof installed this week on both the new house and the old garage (so they match).

How is your energy flow these days?  Are you keeping any energy to respond to an emergency?  Are you distancing from energy drains? Are you consciously choosing where you spend your time, your energy?

Picture: new roofs – old garage (“toy shed”) in front and new elevated house behind it.

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6 thoughts on “Energy Flow this Week

  1. I like that “stop feeling responsible for everything and saying yes to everything”. That is me. My energy is drained by the time I get home between 3:30 and 4pm and I just want to sit. My job is not physically taxing but it is mentally taxing. And then I’ll make plans for this or that after work, when all I want to do is be home!
    I need to pay more attention to myself and my energy (and mood!).

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    1. This week things have begun to slow down as “summer season” rolls in. Yes, summer here is quiet time, and yes, it starts in May. So I have had a few very quiet days, a long nap one afternoon, even finished a book I’ve been part way through for a month! Of course, with this quiet, I’ll need to be careful not to take on more “projects!”

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  2. I broke my fibula in April in Europe so I have had a fair amount of quiet time. Feeling very centered & working on quiet projects that I have neglected in the busyness of life. For likely the first time ever I can’t push my body beyond what it can do. It has been an interesting to say the least.
    Don’t put the time failure on you. You’re doing a great job od all the details.

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    1. Thanks Bernie. I know it’s not my failure (rational brain). It just feels like it sometimes (emotional brain).

      Summer here tends to be quiet time (it’s very hot during the day and many people leave for cooler climates!), so I’m thinking I need to find some quiet projects to work on. I’ve done research projects in the past, large reading projects, taken on-line courses. Definitely need to think of something!

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  3. Hi Pat – lovely to see the house in progress and maybe you should say “by Christmas” to the move in question. We watch Grand Designs and the people on there who are undertaking ridiculously huge bespoke builds all expect to be in by Christmas – usually it runs at least 18mths past their expected move-in time, and that always gives us (and the host) something to smile about.

    As far as energy goes, I’m getting better at managing mine too. Yesterday (Mothers Day) I said “I’ll see my mum and you see yours” to my husband – the relief of only sitting through an hour of making conversation instead of it taking up most of the day (and getting very little of my own ‘mum recognition’) made the day a lot more pleasant ~ 40+ years of being a good daughter-in-law and I’m reeling things back – so that shows we can all learn to manage our time and energy more productively.

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    1. It’s lovely to hear you managed to have a pleasant Mother’s Day. With no mom around anymore, nor MIL, or kids, I tend to just avoid that holiday completely (although I’m pretty sure I sent my sister and niece a text!). And yes, it’s also nice to hear you were able to successfully set some boundaries. You encourage me to keep my boundaries in place!

      But oh dear, I really really hope it’s not till Christmas. It’s been 20 months so far!

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