When one hears the phrase “Living a Life of Leisure” it often brings a sense of over-indulgence, selfishness, lack of responsibility, having no life purpose, or simply wasting time. Maybe that’s just my innate workaholic or the Puritan ethics I was raised on, but I have a hard time to not feel guilty with living a life mostly of what would be described as leisure activities. Recently two articles have me more accepting of my current life of leisure as I acknowledge that I was truly a workaholic, and that is not a healthy thing to be!
Terri over at Second Wind Leisure (link here) is all about living a life of leisure. A recent post highlighted for me that “leisure is being free from any sense of obligation and the freedom to engage in personally meaningful experiences.” She goes on to state “hobby, according to online dictionary sources, is an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation during one’s spare time and outside one’s regular occupation… something not getting paid to do it or an obligation from an external source.” I have posted about my various retirement hobbies (link here on one retirement hobby), none of which I get paid to do. Almost all I pursue for pleasure and I find most personally meaningful experiences.
Over at Unstoppable Leader (link here), Stacy had some really interesting characteristics of a workaholic that rang true for me. And, she points out that being a workaholic is not a good thing! “Workaholics exhibit obsessive tendencies towards their work, driven by an insatiable need for achievement and validation. This relentless pursuit of work can lead to a perpetual state of busyness, where individuals feel compelled to stay in motion, fearing that any moment of rest or relaxation will result in falling behind or failing to meet expectations.”
Workaholics struggle to set boundaries between work and personal life, are unable to disconnect from work during non-work hours, and sacrifice self-care, hobbies, and relationships outside of work for the sake of work. They work long hours, often beyond what is required for their job, career advancement, or financial need, as they have a compulsive need to work. They constantly think work related thoughts even during off-work hours, and derive a significant portion of their identity from work achievements.
Research (one article link here) has shown that engaging in leisure and recreational activities has been found to have significant physical and mental health benefits.
And yet, I used to wear “being a workaholic” and “having no life” as a badge of honor. But I’ve come to realize it was not at all healthy. My workaholic self didn’t want to recognize it at the time! Because I was a workaholic, I did not engage in many leisure activities, had few hobbies, had absolutely no exercise program, and few friends outside of work colleagues. Is it any wonder that now in retirement I want to make time for leisure-based activities that bring me joy and fulfillment, find friends to share those activities with, and to prioritize my physical and mental health?
My innate workaholic nature continues to show in my need for external validation and need to meet (perceived) expectations. And I’ve now realized my inability to stop the work-related thinking of a workaholic shows up as I view my volunteer roles as “jobs.” I am working on stopping my obsessive thinking about things I am doing in those roles!
My current quip, is “My work/life balance is – I worked for 32 years, so now I’ll have a life for 32 years.” I will not feel guilty for not working or not being productive. I am just fine living a life of leisure.
What comes to mind for you with the phrase, “Living a life of leisure”?
Picture credit: Another wonderful sunrise this week.
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My work and identity was connected and like you I had few outside or work activities. It has taken time for me to realize that I am not my job and to love myself for who I am. It is a work in progress and in retirement I am learning to balance leisure and other activities
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Yes, a work in progress! Retirement has taught me how to live. And I’m liking it.
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Pat, leisure time for me is knowing that I can sit in my pajamas all day and not feel guilty about it. I like what leanne said about juggling lots of balls and self-worth. When we learn to love ourselves inspite of the number of balls we are juggling, life becomes a lot more relaxed and enjoyable.
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Suzanne, I’m going to have to do one day totally in my pajamas! I guess my closest equivalent has been a day totally in yoga clothes, which has happened more than once. But seriously, learning to love myself without all the balls, the labels!…. something that is still a work in progress for me.
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Your current quip has just resonated with me. I think I was born with an unhealthy work ethic and it’s the guilt slacking brings that I can still find hard to cope with. Now, when I do want a quiet pause, I’m going to try that mantra- Thank you.
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I like how you phrased it – an unhealthy work ethic. That is exactly what a workaholic tendency is – unhealthy. Quiet pauses – totally healthy!
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For me, living a life of leisure is getting up each morning not dreading what is on my calendar or to-do list. I worked in an industry that groomed people to be workaholics and I was one. I was also very fortunate to be able to pulling off retirement at an early age and real enjoying all of my volunteer gigs. Beautiful photo BTW!
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Tracey – You are so right – groomed to be a workaholic. And with a natural tendency for it with my need to meet others expectations! It’s been hard to break out of some of that thinking and accept the slow, non-productive days without guilt.
I’m going to miss my sunrises…. with the time change, I’ll see fewer…until fall!
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A life of leisure means not punching the clock as I did when employed outside of the home with a family in house to tend to. When asked, what will you do in retirement? I often replied, “Those things I did before 8AM & after 5PM, I’ll do between 8 & 5.” I get a sense of purpose tending to myself & my home in retirement. I get to say “yes” more to social & personal development & creative activities. Instead of hitting the floor running during the work week, I revel in a slow morning. I always liked this: I am fed up with busyness. Busy is an ego trip. The busier the schedule, the more valuable the busy person’s every breath & word & heart beat. Busy validates the sense of self-importance. Consider de-busifying – Sorry. I can’t make it; I’m not busy. (Elizabeth Withey, Edmonton Journal, April 11/06)
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I’ve tried hard to not say “I’m busy”. I will say my days are full. Full of things I like to do… including things like quiet mornings drinking coffee and journaling, long chats with friends mid-afternoon, or time spent working on the daily crossword. Yeah, a life of leisure for this recovering workaholic!
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I tried to be a workaholic but it never sat well with me, my personality is too Gen X! However my husband was a workaholic who did well running around on the corporate hamster wheel. As for what does “Living a life of leisure” mean to me… being productive in ways that make me feel effective and good about myself while living a relaxed casual life that allows for spontaneity and sleep.
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Ally – “spontaneity and sleep”! I can definitely say that retirement has allowed me to learn my natural sleep/wake pattern. I sleep well and that’s a wonderful thing. I probably need to work on spontaneity. It is not my nature. I’m a planner. Even on “do nothing days” I create a plan in the morning. I might shift the plan, but there’s a plan!
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LOL! the math is not mathing for me. I worked 43 years and retired at 61 so unless I outlive my ancestors I’m not going to match 43 years in retirement. But that’s okay, I am going to enjoy every single one of the years I get!! I don’t consider myself a workaholic but I absolutely relied on my job to get my sense of worth, I’m still searching for something to replace that in retirement.
To me, the saying “living a life of leisure” evokes a sense of calm and ease, no rushing just enjoying the moment. I’m still deprogramming from all the decades of thinking every moment of every day needs to be filled with something productive. I’m also still judging myself for spending a few hours every day just reading a book, but awareness is half the battle, I’m starting to tell my ‘judgy’ self to just go away!!
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I know awareness comes first… but I think it’s less than half the battle. One of my other often used statements is, “Unfortunately, the knowing does not always make the doing any easier.”
I’m getting much better at spending time every day in what many would say are wasteful activities…. long talks with friends, walking the beach looking for shells, doing crosswords, reading a “light” books (romance, chick lit, murder mysteries). Nothing productive there at all. One way that’s helped – I’ve set “goals” – to do the daily crossword, read 100 books for the year, and go shelling once a month. So now I can say those time-wasting activities are helping me reach my goals!
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Oops. I am certain that the math won’t work for me! 44 years nursing, hm….44 years retired at 65 would make me really really old even for the longevity that runs in my family. But the last 5 years have been easy peasy work. I wasn’t a workaholic in the regular sense but the call hours were pretty brutal at times. So glad to have such a better balance now.
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I retired at 58 after 38y in the OR! All those hours of on-call and then all those hours on a 40h pay role. The hours added up to working full time until age 67. I was “informed” that I was living a life of leisure. I nearly lost it. I started saving for retirement early, was debt-free before turning 50 and then super-funded retirement.
When people ask what I do? What I want, when I want, if I want!
Cheers to the payoff for hard work 🙂
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Yes, those on call hours (after an already full day or evening) take their toll, don’t they? I don’t think I realized how exhausted I was until about 6 months after I retired.
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Elle – And isn’t that wonderful…. to be able to say “what I want, when I want, if I want!”
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Bernie, I like your comment about how long it took you to realize how tired you were. I recall it took me a few years for my body to find it’s natural sleep/wake rhythm. And I was shocked that I’m more of a morning person than I thought. When I get enough sleep, I love my mornings. Of course, they are also slower paced – time for coffee and journaling. Might I say leisurely!
Luckily for me the math kinda works as I retired early. :-). But even not, it’s nice to be able to say years of leisure and play and no work!
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Hi Pat, it’s been a while! Congratulations on finally retiring. I am humbled you found my blog again and could tie in the important leisure elements into your new life as a retired person! Being a workaholic is not fun, and sadly I had to be in that kind of work mode when I was in charge of public swimming pools. I was fortunate to retire at age 55 with a great pension, but still kept teaching for a university part-time–which felt like not work at all.
Like you I spent 32 years in public service, and I love how you plan to spend the next 32 years enjoying your moments! A great outlook!
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Terri, I pop over to your blog now and again…. I’m not much into photography, but sometimes your titles compel me to stop by. I read your blog and the article on workaholic back to back… and they obviously made an impression. Thanks for the inspiration!
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Thank you, Pat!
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Haha, you remind me of my father. His goal is to be retired as long as he worked. He’s 95, retired at 57, and has 2 more years to go!! My dad has always “drifted” through retirement, taking it one day at a time. Not volunteering or having a second career. But he has had a rich social life due to his friend Mary. He wakes up happy every day. He’s my role model.
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What a wonderful role model! I hope to keep active and social for years to come. I guess that’s my goal language as well – be retired as long as I worked.
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Sometimes I think that whole workaholic “badge of honor” thing has been a scam perpetrated by employers. Often the loyalty goes just one way. I always worked hard and, for the most part, I enjoyed my various jobs and employers but when I retired, I had no problem with the transition. Sometimes we think we are irreplicable, but someone described an employee leaving like taking their finger out of a pail of water.
I like your current quip. 32 years of hard work, 32 years of hard play. Sounds about right!
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Janis, A person who worked for the same company I did mentioned that the culture totally supported a workaholic mindset. In fact, if you were not one, you were “eased out” or sidelined – poor reviews, no raises. 32 years of that mindset is well ingrained, but being aware of it is the first step to stopping it. I do enjoy my life of leisure!
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I LOVE my life of leisure! I was also very tied to my self-worth=my productivity. The more balls I juggled, the more worthy I felt. Now I just cruise – it took several years to adjust to this new way of living, but I would never go back to my old life….been there, done that, got the tee-shirt… I don’t need to be constantly busy to feel like I’m worthy of this lovely life – I worked hard, saved hard, lived within my means, and now I’m blessed every day by those choices younger ‘me’ made.
I actually wrote something along these lines on my blog today – I’m so grateful that I’ve arrived at this lovely stage of life and younger me worked hard to get me here – so I’m going to honour all that effort, and I think you will too. 🙂
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Leanne, I agree – I do love this life I am living. It’s that Puritan guilt that was nagging at me! Recognizing that, and coming to terms with the fact being a workaholic was not something to be proud of…very liberating. I spent the afternoon drinking beer with friends, celebrating a birthday. I don’t feel at all guilty for “wasting an afternoon”. Progress!
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