Mindset Shifting

In my retirement, I’ve explored positive psychology a few times.  Early on, I read a number of articles and decided I wanted to change my pessimistic, cynical self to become more positive.  Then I took a number of courses on the topic and really focused on putting positive psychology into practice. (Link here to my Positivity Practices List) Lately, I’ve needed more practice.

Negative Thought Patterns

I have often been told to lower my expectations about things or to just accept the negativity. But the Laws of Attraction indicate that what you expect to get, you get.  When your mind gives negativity a daily voice, more negativity will follow Where your thoughts go, life follows! I want to stay positive. I want to expect good things. I don’t want to accept negativity.

So, I am trying to be more cognizant of my (too often) negative thoughts and trying to shift them.  Of not saying things like, ”J hates me” when she is (once again) just being a nitpicking micromanager with poor communication skills. (Judgmental or truth? Unfortunately, truth.) Of not reiterating the drama of a situation (sharing negative gossip) and just letting it go.  Of not thinking through worst-case scenarios and instead, taking a deep breath and knowing it will be OK. Of thinking the non-response ghosting to my emails and texts is because they are just busy with other aspects of life and not that they don’t like me.

Stopping negative thought patterns takes awareness and continual practice to shift them. I realized these past few weeks I need more practice!

Retirement Compare & Despair

In retirement, some people “slow down”. They shift from “busy-ness” to a simpler yet full life that brings satisfaction. They enjoy morning coffee, watching the sky lighten with sunrise. They take time for long lunches or chatty beach walks. They lose themselves in an afternoon of reading or crafting. 

Other folks in retirement “keep going”.  They shift focus from first career to “second career”.  That second one could be an always-wanted-to career, non-profit work, being grandparent extraordinaire, a part-time job to keep the mind and body active, or turning a hobby into mastery. 

Some folks might not even retire as they reach “that age” because they simply love what they do!

Slowing down is neither the right nor the wrong thing. Keeping going is neither the right nor the wrong thing. Not retiring is neither the right nor the wrong thing. 

It’s hard to look at what others do and not compare and feel like either you’re doing it wrong or they are doing it wrong.  It’s hard to think, “my way is the right way only for me.”  Some folks don’t need a vision, a plan, or a schedule. Some do. Some folks need to travel and explore. Some don’t. Some folks have the “I’ve always wanted” desire. Some folks need time to figure out what’s next.

Even now, after years of retirement coaching and blogging, it is challenging for me to switch from a Compare and Despair (feel less than) reactive and negative thinking to a “how exciting for you” positive thinking when I hear about another retiree’s activities!

In the last few weeks, I have become aware of a number of negative thinking patterns including another round of Compare and Despair thinking. As I mentioned last week, awareness has been helping me shift out of the negative spiral.

Do you catch your own less-than-positive thinking patterns?

Picture credit: This week’s crafting project. First attempt at shell-covered pots for plants.

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