This spring, for the first time in a long while, I did not create any kind of seasonal plan. No action plan, no possibilities list. I did continue to track “new experiences” as well as books read and new recipes tried. I use my tracking not for goal achievement, but to allow myself to look back and reminisce about the fun things I’ve done. I’m glad I continued the tracking, as it has allowed me to look back at this spring and see that even without a plan, I had some wonderful moments.
There were a few friend day trips, some new restaurants explored, and some solo days doing things I love (beach shelling, thrift store exploring). I bought way too many new plants at various plant sales and enjoyed time puttering in my yard. There were even a couple of items on my long-term to do list that got done! Of course, there was the sometimes-stressful work to settle my mom’s affairs and finalize her burial. And I am thankful I continued my regular activities – from my exercise classes (cardio drumming, beach yoga, & Zumba) to my club activities (garden clubs and book clubs). I believe having those regular movement and connection activities helped keep me in balance and moving along the grief journey.
Looking ahead, I feel the need to do some type of (minimal) summer plan. Since planning has been a challenge for me as I’ve been grieving, I’m not 100% sure what this summer plan will look like! It seems every day, I hear of another local friend/acquaintance that is leaving the area for extended summer travels. I worry I won’t have anyone to play with this summer if I don’t put some plans into place.
Luckily my cardio drumming and beach yoga continue all summer. I’m planning to do some more whimsy craft projects (see link to blog about that here) and pull out last summer’s unread books on religion (link here to first post on that topic last summer). I’m feeling a bit guilty for all my comfort reading – romance books with happily ever after endings. I’m not sure I’m ready for heavy reading, but I am going to see how it goes!
I plan to continue monthly “friend’s dinner”, working through the new-to-me restaurants I want to explore. I did one in May (it was lovely) and have one booked in June. I have a few other activities planned, even if it’s just hubby and me doing them – a museum visit, a pro soccer game, and a local art walk are all on the June/early July calendar. There is nothing really pushing my comfort zone and no major travel. I’m telling myself that’s okay for the moment.
I’m hoping my local garden club and community board both follow through on comments made about summer lunch or dinner gatherings “to get to know everyone better”. And I definitely need to plan some beach and water time – I live in Florida at the beach!
I’m trying to give myself the grace to slowly move back into planning and also allow myself time just to “be”, something that’s been recommended to me to help with the grieving process.
What’s on your summer plan?
Picture Credit: The output of shelling days, waiting to be washed and sorted for craft projects. Full-moon, low-tide, multiple hours – I loose track of time when I’m shelling!
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I would think beach shelling could be most therapeutic. Listening to the tide, feeling the water and sun and ocean breeze and looking for treasure. Time to think while still being an enjoyable kind of busy. Just as I was beginning to catch my breath after my mom’s death, we got PC’s cancer diagnosis. And a lot of other, not health related, worrisome things have popped up. I like to plan but find it almost impossible to do so anymore. It is always something.
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Sometimes life just keeps throwing you curveballs. Hoping all is going well with PC’s treatment.
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I’m happy to hear that you are not pushing yourself too hard, Pat, and reminding yourself to allow for grace. No need to feel guilty about that comfort reading. Sometimes everyday life is challenge enough, and some happily-ever-after is just what the doctor ordered. As for my summer plans, my husband and I are going to Seattle and then on to Victoria, BC in July. I’ve never been to Canada, so I am really looking forward to that!
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Christie, I was in Vancouver years ago and recall I loved the city! Seattle was also a favorite trip. That part of the continent is so beautiful. I hope you have great weather for your travels.
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Our plans for the summer include a week long camping trip, lots of grandchildren time as they attend a day camp near our house (the 6 and 4 year old each have their own week at Nan’s). There will be lots of patio time for reading, drinking beer and socializing but there will also be lots of yard work and a few construction projects (or so I hope). I also need to do some painting but the weather needs to be just right for that.
I am glad you are working your way through the stages of grief and allowing yourself some unstructured time but still keeping up the “basics”. That means different things to different people but you seem to have a nice balance in yours. Enjoy the beach and your crazy heat! Bernie
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Bernie, The heat hasn’t been crazy yet. Although maybe it is for a Canadian! I had a lovely kayak this morning and then sat outside doing the Sunday crossword puzzle. Lovely unstructured time!
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Ah, unstructured time. That sounds amazing. I’ve yet to have much of that since we got home. Lots of gratitude stuff, but just too busy. Looking forward, I can see some home time coming up, and I need that.
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Busyness is good as you work through the grieving process, but you are right to start thinking about a little more structure and purpose as you return to you. I am going with the flow right now, just one wave after another as we move into our new rental townhouse and anticipate our summer travels. Take care.
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Suzanne, Even getting back into blogging regularly seems to not be quite a flow yet. But it will come back I am sure. No summer travels here, but I am actually feeling more optimistic about summer planning since I’m allowing myself to have quiet time too! I’m looking forward to hearing about your summer travels … inspiration for the future!
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I like the simplicity of your plans. They are daily, weekly, monthly plans, rather than yearly. In fact, I think you’ve moved them back through monthly and weekly to daily. Daily is where we live. I feel inspired to continue my daily tracking of fitness achievements and even add in other achievements. Thank-you!
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I love my tracking of “new experiences” not for the achievement but for the reminiscing. It adds to the joy of the experience months later!
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Glad you are doing well. You mentioned the number one reason I don’t want to move to Florida (at least not yet) – hardly anyone in our community stays for the summer! The condo complex is only about 30% full in the summer (June till Sept). I would find that depressing. I suspect house neighborhoods are not as bad.
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I’m learning who stays and who goes, and in fact, some do stay…enough to do things with. We had 5 couples for shuffleboard the other night, and too many wanted to go to the monthly dinner (capped at 8). It’s just a mindset shift for me as a couple of my go-to people will be gone.
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Hi Pat – I’m glad you gave yourself the grace of backing off a little while you were grieving, but still allowing yourself to experience joy and maintain the habits that help you feel good physically and mentally. I don’t make lists for these types of things – I’m more a ‘go with the flow’ kind of gal these days, but I do see the benefits of having intentional plans so that you make the most of the weather etc.
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Leanne, It’s been interesting to feel like I’m back to a more normal me. I am still trying to give myself grace for not having things all buttoned up. I’ve never been a go-with-the-flow person but maybe that is something I need to learn to do better!
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My summer plan is to wait until exterior home improvements happen, decide on a new color for the house to be painted, then sit back and enjoy. It might not be the most exciting plan, but it does indicate progress so I can live with that. Maybe my fall will be more exciting.
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Ally – I think major projects are exciting, and the sit back and enjoy part even better. How fun to be picking a new house color! Our house will need to be painted in next 1-2 years and I’m already wondering what color to do! What color(s) are you contemplating and why?
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