While I have sometimes called my Seasonal Plans a “bucket list”, they are in reality 3-month action plans. I do have a more traditional bucket list, the things-to-do-before-I-die kind-of-list. There are some things that have been on that list for years. And I’m starting to think I should drop some of them from the list. But then I worry:
Am I dropping some long-held bucket list ideas because I really don’t want to do them? Or is there another fear-based reason?
Is it something I’m just not enthusiastic about anymore, even though it’s been on the list seemingly forever? Do I keep it on the list just because it’s always been there?
Is it something I put on the list because it’s expected for “someone like me”?
Is it real fear? Or am I afraid of failure? Afraid of being shown to be incompetent? Do I just need to push out of my comfort zone?
I recognize that I need to stop trying to live old dreams and possibly create new ones. But are some old dreams still valid.
I need to be honest with myself on my life changes and recent self-discovery that might make a bucket list item simply impossible or just not meaningful anymore. I’m going to share three bucket list items and see if blogging about them helps me resolve the “should I or should I not drop them?” Are they still meaningful/valid dreams?
- Buying a scooter – I took the learn to ride a motorcycle class and was absolutely terrified (link post). But I completed the class and now have a license. But the desire to buy a scooter has been significantly minimized by the fear experienced in the early learning curve and the continuing fear of possible injury. I’m pretty sure this is a drop and not a push through the fear
- Extensive traveling – Travel shows up all over my bucket list – number of countries visited goal, various RoadScholar ideas, day trip ideas, National Parks list, a cross-country road trip, and lots of international places that I’ve never seen. And then I feel the fear of this impacting my continuing relationship – Hubby just dislikes travel! Also I’ve realized, I am not looking forward to trip planning. I dislike when things don’t meet my expectations and so often in travel that happens. I wonder if travel is a “should” expectation (so many of our friends are doing it). Lots of conflicting emotions involved in this space. I think travel stays, but perhaps it is modified a bit on extent and execution.
- Volunteer work – I’ve struggled with finding volunteer work that is both fulfilling and fits the no-long-term commitment feelings I have now. Every time I talk with other retirees about their volunteer work, I wonder if what they do is right for me, too. And usually it’s, “Nope.” But then I worry that I should be volunteering at something similar. I feel like volunteer work in retirement is a societal expectation and one I feel judged on if I’m not engaged in doing it. (Real or not, I feel judged!). So I continue to search for something and it stays on the bucket list for now.
I also need to re-think my “bucket list” in general as well. I will change my perception of it from a “check-list of things to-do-before-I-die”, to (as I have called it in the past) a “personal possibilities list”. It is merely a list of things in one place to consider when I need something to inspire me. So I will consider opportunities for volunteering and travel as they come.
Do you have a traditional bucket list, and if so, have you dropped a long-term bucket list item? What made you decide to do that?