A Contemplative Look Back

As I (once again) look into shifting apparently well-entrenched self-limiting beliefs, I wondered, how much have I progressed over the years?  Am I moving forward in my personal development?  I decided to look back on 5 years of blog posts from “this week”.  Have you ever looked back on your own blog posts in this moment-in-time way?

It was unfortunately a bit disheartening – I’m not moving forward as much as I hoped.  In fact, one year ago, I posted a “more thinking on thinking” which was the name of a blog I was beginning to write for this week’s post! 

Or is this look back interpretation merely that deeply-entrenched belief of “you’re never good enough” making working deeply once again? An interesting hypothesis!

Here’s what my thoughts looked like per my midwinter (Mid-February) blog musings year by year:

2025 – I was thinking about thinking.  Something I know I do (overthinking), but it was a bit disheartening to see the same self-limiting beliefs, the same action plans, the same words I am saying right now – “Change your beliefs, change your thoughts, change your words.”  It made me wonder, what I can do differently? Because it has often been said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

2024 – That February, I was philosophizing about living a life of leisure. I can say that at 10+ years in retirement, I am comfortable saying, “I’m retired.” And I am guilt-free saying “I’m living a life of leisure”.  I felt a sense of relief that something has changed, because I know how difficult both those phrases were when I first retired. How comfortable are you with these statements? (And seeing out view from our property in that post reminded me why we stayed to rebuild.)

2023 – February 2023 was a tough month.  This look back brought a wave of grief.  However, the blog also included the insight of learning to let things go. The hurricane certainly helped with letting go of stuff! And post-hurricane therapy has helped with letting go of other things. But, once again, the same litany of things to do – Take time to just be, do things that make you happy, breath work. 

2022 – My February blog post that year showcased some of the in-depth reading I did during the pandemic. A first of a series, it was fascinating to look back and realize that our USA culture is taking hard hits on any forward momentum on alleviating the Patriarchal Belief Systems that subjugate women (and others). No litany of things to do – unusual for me, I’m coming to believe!

2021 – I recall this blog post as I’ve realized I still hear voices.  Or one voice in my head – the inner voice that perceives and interprets words and situations based on deeply held self-limiting beliefs. With this inner interpretation, I hear rejection (“see, you don’t belong”). I hear, “See, you’re not a good friend”.  I hear, “Once again, you’re incompetent.”  So, 5 years later and still the same blog could be posted today.

Sometimes I struggle with the fact that even though I do many of the things I put in these lists I create to help me in my personal development, too often, I do not feel that I’ve moved the needle on shifting (dare I even hope for releasing?) deeply held self-limiting beliefs.  But I will once again, make the list and do the work.

  • Journal about your feelings, and even more importantly — accept them. Notice how much you’re retelling the negative stories — stop that.
  • Focus on accomplishments – smalls ones.  Celebrate them.
  • Evidence based rebuttal on those inner voice messages – What are the facts?  “This is not true because….”
  • Keep taking care of yourself:  hydrate, eat healthy, exercise, sleep, socialize (with a supportive uplifting social network)
  • Do the breath work.

Do you look back at old blog posts in any way? Have you had success in shifting or releasing deeply-entrenched self-limiting beliefs?

Picture – For those following my journey – the house has a second floor almost done! Roof trusses were delivered and should go on this week.

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2 thoughts on “A Contemplative Look Back

  1. I am sad to read the 2021 about self-limiting beliefs and that internal voice you hear is still applicable today. But I understand. Just as I feel like I am more confident than ever before in my life, something will come along and knock me back down again. Almost like how dare I get some self acceptance and self assurance.

    Happy to see a second story almost complete. That’s a real house!! That must be encouraging. Hope you will be settled in before the year is out.

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  2. First of all – Yay! To the house progress – so exciting after all the long build-up. Onward and upward – literally in this case!

    In answer to your question, I’ve never done a considered look back at my posts – occasionally one comes to mind and I re-visit it (as I mention in my post today) but in general I just keep myself in the “now” as much as possible. The encounter with my ex-work colleague a couple of months ago reminded me that maybe we’re never completely healed or where we’d like to be, we just keep building on what we’ve been figuring out and hope that we’re moving in the right direction. I think you’re doing that, and I’m sure you’re further along than you give yourself credit for. x

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