A Review of My Time

One of the elements I love about retirement is the ability to set up my days to align with my retirement lifestyle vision, which is based on my values and hopefully my natural inclinations and strengths. These past months have been a blur and I felt the need to relook at where I’m spending my time. I want to be living with intention and not simply frittering time away, letting life happen, or allowing distractions to fill my time.  Yes, there is still recovery needed – both physical house and emotional me – but I feel a need to get back to living the retirement life I love.

I also wanted to understand how I am living as a “Wild Woman” already, as I want to recognize that part of me (link to blog about who that element is).  In fact, as I think about who I am, I’m finding there are multiple elements of my unique self. Yes, there is the responsible “Good Girl”, who’s doing all the adulting and house recovery and often feeling not good enough at accomplishing things there. There is the “Sage”, the wise woman who likes to research and share knowledge. I do have an intuitive “Wild Woman” inside me who doesn’t always follow the rules; she is one that needs more recognition!  And then there’s also my inner “Bohemian Faerie”, who likes to dabble in metaphysical things and play with crafts and plants.

Before looking at my time spent (what is reality the past couple of weeks) I needed to re-think on what I want my life to look like. I’ve been struggling with the idea that since I’ve been focused on being the “Good Girl” since my teen years, doing the should and meeting expectations, do I really know what I truly want?

What does my soul crave?

  • A slow natural wake-up in the morning, drinking coffee, and writing in my journal without any sense that I need to rush to do something. Feeling a sense of freedom for my days – able to set boundaries on my time, able to say no, engaging in the things I love to do without guilt.  I realized that I did have as sense of the “shackles coming off” when we moved to Florida, but I still struggle with boundaries and doing what’s expected.
    • A return to doing the things I love.
      • Actively engaging in cardio drumming, yoga on the beach, regular bike rides, and beach walks.
        • Sharing a substantive conversation with a friend, with coffee or wine or food, or even floating in a pool.
        • Time spent reading a book in the sunshine, dabbling in the garden or with crafts, and making a healthy dinner. It’s about the engagement in activities, not the mastery of them.
        • Regularly going to arts & crafts markets, dining out at great restaurants, and going to live theater.
        • Having a thought-stimulating passion project that I can summarize and share with others
      • My retirement lifestyle vision statement is still true – Active Body, Connected Heart, Creative Spirit, Contemplative Mind.  What activities can I return to now, while waiting on house recovery?
    • Things I wish for going forward:
      • Eating healthy meals with lots of fruits and veggies and managing portion control better. Not avoiding things like ice-cream or dark chocolate or a glass of wine (because I’m active and am not needing to worry about weight gain).
        • Having a place where “everybody knows my name”.  
        • Feeling comfortable having people over to our home, for easy dinners or time on the water.  Having a close circle of couple-friends, as well as girlfriends.
        • Getting comfortable in being authentically me. Over at Deb’s World (a wonderful blogger I follow), she talked about accepting your uniqueness. (link here to her blog.). She said, “When it comes to authenticity, learning to embrace your weird isn’t just about accepting imperfection…..It’s about learning to unapologetically celebrate your passions, ideas, quirks and sense of humour. Owning what brings you joy.” My quirlks? I am an over-thinker, a synthesizer of information, the responsible one, an avid dabbler, and a bit unconventional. I want to be more spontaneous, work on boundaries, and trust my intuition more.

This introspection on Who I Am has been helpful to recognize it is okay to be a bit unconventional as I always have been! I didn’t take the typical route – mine was a degree and career in the engineering field, childless by choice, a strong independent woman, and the primary breadwinner. I have dabbled in passion projects throughout my retirement – positive psychology, enneagram, history of religion, archetypes, tarot, chakra, spirituality, salt tolerant plants… where will I follow my “Sage” curiosity next? And yes, the responsible “Good Girl” is present and accounted for with all the adulting needed for house recovery. I just need to allow her to be human and feel “good enough!”.

What have I done to allow the “Wild Woman” and “Bohemian Faerie” elements of me out the past couple weeks?

  • Ordered “hippie clothing” (not arrived yet) and wore dresses more often.
  • Indulged in meals without money worry. I ordered surf & turf with wine for our anniversary dinner plus lava cake for dessert; then had a lobster roll for dinner one night. This was huge for me to not worry about cost!
  • Put crafting on my calendar and re-engaged in garden work on our property. OK, it was mostly pulling weeds but it felt so good to get my hands in the dirt.
  • Took a long solo shelling beach walk and did another walk & phone-talk on the beach.
  • Kayaking with girlfriends; a spontaneous (and hilarious) pool party with some of the same group.
  • Pedicure with a friend and long lunch conversation.  A challenging one as she informed me their house has sold and they are moving away. It’s hard to be happy for them as my hearts breaks in losing that friendship – the reality is the friendship is too new to withstand a 1.5-hour distance.
  • Did a day trip visiting metaphysical stores and booked a sound bowls event.
  • Created vision boards – here’s the one I did on our new house color palette:

Yes, I also continued the adulting… builder’s risk quotes, figuring out insurance for “no house” (seriously, it’s needed for a number of reasons), finding a new lawn service and getting expectations set, Medicare & Medicare Advantage sign up (OMG!), following up on loan/grant  information and build permit issuance (worrying takes up lots of mind-space!).

The days continue with joyful up moments and crying meltdowns. Looking back past couple of weeks, more ups than downs, which means healing is happening. We are approaching the 9-month post-catastrophe mark and hurricane season 2025 just began. Our house recovery continues slowly.  But I am re-focused on living life with intention.

Do you embrace your quirks? Do you look back at what you actually do to see if it aligns with how you want to intentionally live your life?

Picture Credit: me on that kayaking trip!

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14 thoughts on “A Review of My Time

  1. That’s wonderful that you have started to have more ups than downs, Pat. Your description of what your soul craves really spoke to me. We have many of the same lifestyle desires.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Giving myself permission to do what my soul craves again has been good for me. There’s that saying “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” or something like that. I do feel that this latest life upheaval has changed me. Not necessarily stronger, but a bit more willing to set boundaries, to allow things to not be perfect, to accept things as they are.

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  2. Oh, my gosh. So frustrated. I wrote a very long comment and it looks like maybe it got gobbled up by the Internet. Won’t rewrite it in case it shows up again but I am glad to reconnect with you. Love the color palette for the new house…what a retreat you are creating. So proud of you to enjoy the anniversary dinner, to buy the hippie clothes – we need a reveal!! To be kayaking and crafting and gardening and easing back into the retirement life you loved before catastrophe struck. Sending you love.

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    1. Well, I just got the hippie clothes today and hoping they drape a bit better after washing. I’ll definitely try and do a selfie with them at some point this summer. I’m trying to take things one day at a time and give myself grace when things go wrong. Even missing a weekly blog post is OK, right? Things will continue to move forward, maybe not the speed I want. It was helpful to play with a vision board versus just deal with more red tape.

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  3. Hi Pat, I too enjoyed your post with all the ups and downs of life!! Thanks so much for the mention of my post and blog, it’s much appreciated and I’m glad my words helped you in some way. You’re doing so well!

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    1. Janis,

      I painted our cottage (Florida house before we moved permanent) yellow and loved it… we were going to repaint the no-longer-existing-house this year to that color. So yellow was a given. and blue… my husband has pointed out I’ve painted my great room blue in every home we’ve ever had. Hah! They are both very beach appropriate too.

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  4. Do you embrace your quirks? Heck ‘ya. Have you read my blog?

    Do you look back at what you actually do to see if it aligns with how you want to intentionally live your life? Constantly so that I’ll live as consistently as possible.

    I like your visions board ideas for your new home. Hoping it is going well and that you aren’t too stressed by it.

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    1. Ally, you inspire me with your quirkiness!

      Only 2 set backs this past week on the building permit… but at least I know it’s in review and my General Contractor is responding to the questions (even the stupid ones).

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    1. Suzanne, There is definite improvement, but things just move so very slow. I chose Patience as my WOTY and mine is certainly being tested… with incompetent customer service, red tape, outright lies, and changing ordinance interpretations. It was helpful to look forward to a vision board…now I just need to convince hubby it’s what he wants as well. 🙂

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  5. Hi Pat – it was so lovely reading your very positive post. I loved how you could acknowledge the challenges that are ever-present still, but that you’re making fun choices to balance out the tough stuff. I could hear your happiness in some of them and was cheering you on. Good on you for claiming your space and your right to live life well – retirement is such a blessing and it gives us abundant time to do what needs to be done + all that’s fun to do too. Keep on shining – I can see your light at the end of the tunnel – and it’s not an oncoming train! x

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    1. Leanne, I chuckled at your light at the end of the tunnel comment. I recall another major life transition (many years ago, pre-blogging) where I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I know exactly how that feels. This time, it never did get that bad. There are still moments I get so frustrated with “red tape” and struggle to practice patience. But in general, there are more good days than bad and there is some very small forward movement. I’m awaiting the day to proclaim we have a building permit and a schedule. So, yes there is a light, but it’s still super tiny.

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