I’ve had a number of challenging days lately and needed to relook at how to the pull myself out of a downward spiral. To stop the negativity when something is still small, before it spins into a full-blown, Very-Bad-Day.
I recognize that our nervous systems are wired to pay more attention to negative events than positive events. Why? Because negative events are threats, and our nervous system’s main function is to keep us safe and alive. Unfortunately, right now, there are many negative events happening in my life. There is anxiety from the reliving aspects of our life-quake trauma (second guessing decisions still!) and the frustrating slowness of our physical home recovery. Then there is the destruction of the world around me – from natural disasters (beyond ours) to politicians destroying our country to horrible tragedies. My system is primed to spin into that negative spiral every single day!
And yet, every day there are small experiences called glimmers, small moments of regulation that give feelings of well-being. I need to be identifying and creating more of these moments!
I recently reviewed my Jolts of Joy list to see about adding into my calendar more daily glimmers. Some things I am planning to do: Get Sirius radio again. Stop FB scrolling. Sit in a peaceful space in silence a few times a week and anchor myself in my senses – be in the moment for sights, sounds, smells. I want to get back into reading uplifting books. Now that weather is getting better again, I hope to eat dinner outside more often – I need to plan those because that means good conversation, too.
I can also be better at acknowledging that I’m having a glimmer. Feel the sensations in my body. Thank the universe for this experience. I can also take the pause – Inhale patience, exhale irritability – when those moments of negativity strike.
This week’s glimmers included a wonderful visit with friends which included birdwatching (one picture in header!), time just floating in their pool (so relaxing), and spontaneous jamming with a rock and roll band (my first time playing the tambourine). I also went to an amazing performance at a theater I’ve been wanting to visit and enjoyed a lively discussion at one of my book clubs. These glimmers all helped keep the frustration of no movement forward on the house recovery from spiraling.
And so I continue the journey and try to prevent the negative spirals, one day at a time.
What’s a favorite glimmer for you?
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Sunset is a favourite “gratitude” moment which I think translates to your glimmer. I think lying in an outdoor pool would definitely count or perhaps sitting by the ocean. The outside noise is so loud but we also need to pay attention to it but manage to find our own spots of peace. Bernie
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Bernie, Great phrase – “finding our own spots of peace.” Definitely needed in today’s craziness.
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What’s a favorite glimmer for you? Suddenly noticing how beautiful nature can be, taking in the awe, just out of nowhere it seems. I find myself feeling connected to the world at large, in a small way.
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Ally, And isn’t that a great reminder to me to get outside more! Being in an apartment complex makes nature feel farther removed. I need to plan some park visits this upcoming month.
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Pat, that bird is a Rosette Spoonbill and is pretty rare. Seeing one in our area always makes me smile. Eating dinner outside, going to the beach for sunset, taking a walk or bike ride – those are the things that lift my mood. It sounds like you have had more ups than downs lately. Congrats.
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Suzanne, The Rosetta Spoonbill is one of my favorite birds to spot. (Little Blue Herons are another favorite). We rarely see them by us as they like marshy areas. We were in Naples and they are more common there, but still not guaranteed. I was super excited to see one and thrilled I got a reasonable picture of it with my cell phone. We went to the beach last night for sunset…I’m going to need to try and do that more often!
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Glimmers: seeing new deer tracks in the snow in the morning; breaking into dance at the sound of a favorite tune like the Red River Jig; a phone call from a grandchild; sunrise/sunset; using up the last of something from the pantry; the greeting from the neighbor little when she comes up the steps….I could go on. Pat, you are making your way through this maelstrom. Your awareness of glimmers is testimony.
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A couple of your glimmers brought a big smile to my face… and yeah, I actually get a glimmer using up somethings from the pantry, too! You also reminded me I need to sing in the car again (a link to your breaking into dance). Glimmers are all around, aren’t they!
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I hate to say, Keep it up, you’re doing a great job, but “keep it up, you’re doing a great job!” Your glimmers are a brilliant way to remember the good. Mine include, music (always music), sun (always sun), reading – especially with both dogs in my lap and a comfy blanket (I hadn’t been doing this one much in the past year because I so busy, but now I’m back to it), just sitting (because I can), dinners out, time with girlfriends, and maybe a crazy one that I have to make sure I take the right way – thinking about how old I am but instead of going to the “holy moly, I’m so old” going to “holy moly, I’m getting old and still doing so great!”
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Candyse, I’m also doing more reading again…lighter books that are fun to read. And planning dinner out at least once a week…even if it’s just me & Tim. I’m trying to get back to living our life, even if we are not in our house. And getting to the beach… I really miss seeing the water. I know this is temporary, and this past week was a bit better again. Focus on the glimmers, acknowledging the little steps forward, and yeah, seeing a therapist, all helped.
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I wrote about What are you favourite glimmers? back in November 2023 and the following I wrote when it came to my glimmers was the following:
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Liz, Laughter is a glimmer I don’t often seem to get! I’m going to need to see about increasing that. I also like musical themed films and again, am not engaging in them. A few great ideas for me to “steal ad reapply.”
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Enjoy finding these new glimmers.
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I really like the term ‘glimmer’. I have called similar experiences or encounters, ‘little miracles.’ But glimmer is probably better. My favorite glimmer is finding a coin on a walk or in a parking lot or store. I know that sounds crazy but it stems from days when we didn’t have an extra penny. This past week, I found a number of coins, and that warmed my heart.
Isn’t floating in the pool just delightfully relaxing? So glad you were able to do that this past week. And yay for bird watching. Fabulous capture of the flamingo?? and its reflection in the water.
I need to remember how music can term my ‘frown upside down.’ I most often listen to books than anything else but listening to music can be so uplifting and can connect me to happy memories. What fun to play a tambourine!! Have never tried that and would be very self conscious trying to do so but proud of YOU.
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I”m also one to stop and pick up a penny/coin. It used to be “heads for good luck”, but now I think of it as a sign of good luck no matter what. And yeah, the tambourine was super fun.
The picture is actually a Rosetta Spoonbill. We don’t have them often near where I live, although they are a Florida bird. They like more mashy areas. They are one of my favorite birds to spot – the bright pink color is so fun to see. Blue herons are another favorite of mine, and we see them often near us.
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Hi Pat – sometimes I think lifequakes force us to go back to one-day-at-a-time living, being fully present in the “now” and choosing to find the good amongst the darkness. I like how you’re going back to finding glimmers, that there are good things happening in your life, and that underneath it all you know you’ll get through this in time – it’s just hard in the here and now. x
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Leanne, I keep coming back to a song that keeps playing on the radio here, “I’m not OK, but it’s all gonna be alright.” Just need to keep reminding myself – Focus on the daily glimmers, remind myself of all I do have to be grateful for, celebrate the small accomplishments… take things one day at a time.
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