Rhythms, Routines, or Ruts?

I’ve created a number of new routines since retirement. Hubby’s recent knee replacement surgery disrupted a number of them.  I began to wonder, were my new routines a new life rhythm or were they actually ruts, as in an inability to be flexible?

Of course, I explored the concept of routines and ruts on line.

• “A routine is a set of healthy habits that brings you fulfillment, growth, stability in chaos, and a sense of achievement. A rut is where that routine becomes a safety net that stops you from seizing spontaneous opportunities when they arise.”
• “Routine grounds your spirit in your body so that you stay anchored in yourself as you move through each day.” 
• “(The routine of) writing in your journal every day lets you stay in touch with yourself so that you are always tuned in to your feelings.”  
• “The biggest sign you’re stuck in a rut is that it feels like your life is on a negative loop.”

So, routines are good!  I use my morning journaling routine to repeat affirmations and focus on the positive aspects of my life, to celebrate my life, to capture my gratitudes, and to motivate myself. My routine exercise classes are healthy habits. My daily crossword routine stimulates my brain and gives me a sense of accomplishment (most days).

The disruption of theses routines this past month didn’t feel as bad as I thought. I was happy I could be flexible with my time to support hubby’s recovery. Even if my primary roles became dog walker and ice machine maintenance. [Ice-Ice baby.] But the shift in my routines also had me looking at my calendar and wondering, am I spending 80% of my time doing things that I enjoy?  Are my activities and events linked to my values and aligned to who I want to be?  I had not done that analysis for a while, but it is a tool I shared in my Retirement Transitions book (link here) in the Refine Phase of the Retirement Transition Process.

The Activities vs Values Assessment tool helps you explore if what you are doing (where you are spending your time) is linked to what’s really important to you. Essentially, can you fill in the statement, “I value x and want to be y, so I spend my time, energy and money on a, b, c.”  

For example, a statement could read: “I value belonging and I want to be a good friend, so I spend my time creating and implementing intentional connections and this shows up on my calendar this week in one-on-one chats, IRL activity planning, and book club /garden club meetings.”

When doing this assessment, it involves looking where you really spend your time.  How much time doing various activities, including time spent scrolling on line or playing games?

I recently had the aha (blog link here) to also think about not just doing, but also being.  I wanted to explore my time in relation to both doing and being!

My typical week often includes:

• Paperwork or meetings for one of the two Board of Director positions I hold. Although not weekly, I am also often a willing worker at fundraising events. This represents a donation of time and energy because I value being connected and want to be a philanthropist.
• Attending a meeting or activity for one of the two garden clubs I belong and/or puttering in my own garden.  This represent my value of being connected with others (belonging), my desire to learn more about gardening (value knowledge), and also my desire to be an amateur gardener.
• Reading a book for one of my two book clubs or diving into a research rabbit-hole on a topic of interest.  (This summer’s research project is about Florida plants!) This time spent is because I value knowledge.
• A little too much time scrolling on social media! This matches no value in my life. Ouch.
• Time spent on all the areas of my retirement lifestyle vision, which supports my value of autonomy. That vision statement was crafted based on my other values as well: Active Body, Connected Heart, Creative Spirit, Contemplative Mind.
  • Chatting with friends on beach walks or on-line coffee/wine, going to monthly friends’ dinner, or a doing a Tourist in Own Town planned activity.  (connected)
  • Being a dabbling crafter on various projects or (creative)
  • Doing daily crossword puzzles, new moon Tarot reading, daily journal writing, regular blog writing (contemplative)
  • Regular cardio drumming classes, beach yoga, full moon shelling walk, and seasonal Zumba classes (be active)

It’s nice to know that my routines are my life rhythm and not ruts. I have routines that help keep me grounded and healthy. I have activities that align to my values and help me be the person I want to be.  Did I find areas of improvement?  Yes (less scrolling, more time outdoors). And I’m glad to be back to my routines as hubby’s recovery continues to progress well.

Are your routines a positive life rhythm or a rut? Do you ever explore how your time spent lines up with your values?

Picture Credit: My newest craft dabbling – resin art coasters

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