Winter was a whirl of emotions, many of them negative. My Winter Possibilities List had so many things I did not check off, it was disheartening. I tell myself it’s only about possibilities, but still. So, I am taking a tool from the Self-Talk book learning (link here) and applying it to March. Can I list 20 I-did-its to celebrate the positive moments last month? And might that help me look forward and do some anticipatory planning for April?
What filled my heart & soul up in March? In no particular order (and I will get to 20!):
- New plants planted in container pots– tri-color bougainvillea, plumbago, begonias. All of which are still alive!
- Multiple attempted propagations – only a few still alive. I do not have good track record on propagation.
- Tarot class on-line finished. (Blog post to come on this.)
- Weekend visit with friends in Naples – a wonderful time.
- Slogged through after-death estate paperwork and most is done (not all, but most).
- Supportive appreciation from my family on all the after-death paperwork. Really meant a lot to me.
- Mammogram take-2 came back OK. I got the post-mammogram call that something was not right, then had to wait two (stressful) weeks for re-rest, but it’s all OK.
- Solo time – art gallery visit, downtown lunch, shelling at beach.
- Booked all aspects of the NY burial trip.
- Had memorial pendants crafted.
- Local “Second Saturday Art-walk” and new dinner experience at a hip brewery.
- Art in Bloom museum visit and downtown happy hour experience. Luckily, this museum visit had been put on the calendar last fall, so no planning required really..
- Regular cardio drumming classes.
- Day trip to Lakeland gardens with friends. Another event that had been put on the calendar last fall, to do in the spring.
- Dolphin Racer and Pontoon boat rides – loved being out on the water in the sunshine. And both things planned by someone else, I just had to participate!
- Girlfriend chats.
- Swim & dine with friends (sometimes a dip in the pool is just lovely!)
- Figured out official plant names for entry into April flower show. I’m submitting multiple plants – my first time trying this.
- Self-help book reading – books on grief and book on self talk.
- Played with corks (crafting).
If I start to write down items for April, will I jump-start some planning? I’m trying to not beat myself up and allow my planner-mode to return slowly, but some days I wish there was something to do (besides after-death paperwork and follow-up!)! Here goes:
- Work on next set of after-death paperwork (yes, I wonder, “when will it be done?” but still needs to be worked on)
- Flower Show participation & volunteering
- Set up some virtual girlfriend connects
- Organize the office to create space for mom’s things I’m keeping
- Grief counseling
- Live shows at FreeFall and American Stage (local theaters)
- Lead craft workshop at Garden Club
- Work at Easter Egg Hunt in town
- Plan a tarot reading afternoon, craft afternoon, and dinner – with friends
- Plan park hike to drop painted rocks
I luckily have my regular things on the calendar – cardio drumming, Zumba, weekly beach yoga, books clubs, monthly shelling walk. I’m feeling a need for some other activities… even if I’m still struggling to plan things. I am (slowly) processing the grief (and guilt/blame) of losing my mom, and returning to living the life I love here in our Florida home.
Picture Credit: Hubby – our newest backyard guest
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retirementtransition 
I haven’t been here in a while.
My mom passed in January, but it was a slow decline. Her last six months were tough on her, but her mind was still sharp.
Then we had the coldest, snowiest winter in fifty years!
I’d say you are far ahead of me on finding things of joy.
My sister lived closest to mom and is almost done with the estate. She did her son’s estate last year, so she is clicking through the issues. I’m not sure if she is going to have the time or will to grieve after that.
The Jewish tradition is to take a month in mourning and a year in rebuilding. That is so difficult in our society where we are compelled to move forward.
I just want to sit and throw rocks in the flowing river.
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I knew the time of mourning related to the Jewish tradition, but not the year of rebuilding. I quite like that term.
And your comment about just wanting to “sit and throw rocks in the flowing river”… brought a sense of “you get it” to me! I’m going to use that metaphorical phrase when I’m struggling to get things done.
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I love the idea of listing 20 I-did-its to remind yourself of all the accomplishments you have to celebrate. And you did accomplish a lot in March. I wish you a happy, peaceful April.
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Christie, Using this tool has been really helpful as I’m feeling, as an aspect of my grieving process, not being able to put my mind towards things. It allows me to say, yeah, I did do things. April is half over and the tool is definitely helping day by day.
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I admire all you accomplished in March, a month that for me was about as blah as a month can be. I’m curious about your on-line Tarot class so I look forward to your post. I also adore the idea of hiking in a park to drop painted rocks. Carry on!
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March here is full-on spring time, so the outdoors beckons big time. I’m liking the “I did it ” list tool also, as it allows you to think about things that are not necessarily major “accomplishments”, but just stuff. The hike to drop rocks has been on my possibilities list for multiple seasons… really hoping to get do it this April while the weather here is lovely. I’ve got the painted rocks ready.
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Wow! Remarkable. Truly inspiring to read that list of joys from March. Even without the grieving, the list would be awesome; that is almost one thing for each day. Be proud of that list. Awesome, too, to get a head start on April. As I said, remarkable and inspiring!
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I hadn’t thought about it being one thing for each day. I had to look back and see – nope, some things happened on same day. LOL. I do like this tool – the “I did it” list. It makes it less of “accomplishments”. I could even add in “spent an afternoon napping” – something that’s on my April wish list – outside in the warm breeze we get this time of year.
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Hi Pat – it sounds like a pretty productive March – and it looks like April is heading in the same direction. You certainly have plenty to fill your days with all your activities – and adding in the flowers and plants is great (I’m terrible when it comes to anything that requires a green thumb). Glad you’re gradually sorting out all the daunting paperwork too – I bet the rest of the family is extremely relieved that you’re doing it all for them.
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Leanne, I’ve been known to have a kinda black thumb myself. You did note the dead propagation things, right? And one of the plumbago bushes is now not looking too good. We’ve been having a drought and the sprinkler system didn’t reach where I had it planted. Moved it yesterday and hoping it’s not fully dead. But I find I enjoy time playing with plants. Learning a completely different eco-system has been interesting. Moving 950 miles south shifted me into a sub-tropical climate. And then we’re right on the water (Gulf of Mexico), so sandy soil and salt content in the air. And now drought. So I can always blame climate instead of my black thumb!
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What the heck is that a photo of? Seems like a bird but I have no idea what.
I would say, despite the downs, you found a way to finish the month in a positive way. You seem to have a good balance planned for April.
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Bernie, It’s a screetch owl. They are about 6 inches in height. We’ve had between 1 and 5 in our yard each day now for over a week, tucked up in the trees.
It was helpful to use the “I did it” list approach for the month. Before I did that, I was feeling like nothing had really happened. It’s strange how grief can blind you to the positives. And making the April list did get me started on planning a few things!
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I think with my injury I should also do the I did it list so I feel like there was completion. I would usually have 5 different assorted projects on the go for April. I have managed some quilting… slow progress on the ribs.
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I’ve seen many owls but never a screetch one. 5 wow? Owls never flock up here. Interesting.
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