It Will “Be Enough”

~ patwdoyle11

I’m preparing to publish a book about Retirement Transition. At every step of the publication way, the voice in my head has said, “who do you think you are?” Sometimes it is in an unkind “you’re not enough” tone of voice – “who do you think you are? Others do it so much better.” Other times it’s in a “you’re just being arrogant” tone of voice; arrogance is a sin. And then there is the belief that it’s not original work, the “Who do you think you are? You’ll be shown to be a massive plagiarizer, an imposter.” Each step of the publication journey has felt like a “heart palpitating, take deep-breath, and continue on this scary path” moment.

It continues to amaze me when the universe sends you messages you need to hear. Sometimes repeatedly! Through recent reading and listening to various things on YouTube, I’m starting to create a different voice in my head:

  • It’s about showing up. Not winning or losing. It’s about doing it even if you’re afraid of the reception.
  • Without vulnerability, there is no creation. And this book is a creation. It is your unique take on this thing we call retirement transition.  
  • Yes, you will be criticized about it.   That comes with doing anything that is creative. Don’t listen to people in the “cheap seats”.
  • This book is not all things.  It is just one woman’s take on this thing we call Retirement Transition.

Brené Brown in various books/talks gives guidance about having the courage to be imperfect, to believe in myself, the willingness to try, and to have the self-compassion to be kind to myself.   It might be a complete disaster, but at least I tried.

From Janet’s blog on her reading about the Hero’s Journey: She can say, “I am not all things . . . and I am enough.” She becomes real, open, vulnerable, and receptive to a true spiritual awakening.

I keep remembering lines from a poem my best-friend in high school wrote:

“Sure I’m not perfect, nobody is. I don’t want perfection, I just want a friend. ”

 

I’m beginning to realize how powerful the phrase “and that’s enough” is.  Not perfect, but enough.

  • I’ve completed my book…. and it’s enough.  
  • It’s not perfect, but it is enough.
  • The book is in my real voice; it’s expressing my own ideas. That is enough.
  • Someone will criticize it, but someone else will find it useful. That is enough.
  • The book is enough. I am enough.

Now onto the next step of the publication process!

 

Picture Credit: Pixabay

Published by patwdoyle11

Life is a series of transitions and my blog captures my retirement transition journey.

67 thoughts on “It Will “Be Enough””

  1. Pingback: My Blog Anniversary – A long look back – retirementtransition
  2. Pingback: Retirement Transition - an Interview with Author, Patricia West Doyle - Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond

  3. Have been out of town caring for my mom and out of the blogging loop for months. I get back on track for a week and then the bottom falls out of my life again.

    Anyway, I am so proud of you. Would love for your dedication and determination and hard work to rub off on me. You can say you have finished a book. And I think you are being tough on yourself when you say that folks may wonder who you think you are writing with advice on the retirement transition. Instead, I think people will embrace your perspective and find it so helpful.

    So many of my teacher friends were thrilled to retire. And I was so sad. I often feel like I am the only person who wasn’t really celebrating on that last day of work.

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    1. I retired with very mixed emotions. But I’m truly happy I did it when I did. I had to learn so much about who I was and figure out how to live a life, versus live to work. I still have days/weeks where I struggle, but I did with working as well. Thanks for believing that my perspective in a book will be embraced. The book is at the printers now…. again mixed feelings!

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  6. Congratulations on completing the writing of your book, Pat, and good luck on publishing process. I am eager to see the final results. I’ll be one of the first to buy a copy. I can relate to those voices in your head. I’ve heard those very words too many times myself. I love those words, “and that’s enough.” Thanks for sharing them. #MLSTL

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  7. Congrats! The world of self-publishing has really opened up the possibilities for writers to share their thoughts and words with their audience. Although I’ve never felt that I had a book in me, I would be interested to have you write a few posts about the process. I’m looking forward to reading your book!

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  8. Oh Pat! So exciting publishing! I’m at that point also …. asking myself if I don’t I’ll regret it and always wish I had! It your intuition/gut is telling GO …. Just do it! I’ll be sharing this post on FB and Twitter for #MLSTL.

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    1. MaryLou, You get it. At this point I really would regret it for not going for it. It might be a disaster and I probably will never recoup the money I paid to have it published (self-publishing), but I think I would regret not going for it. It’s at the printer as I type… Oh my!

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    1. LOL. Brene Brown talks about not listening to “anyone in the cheap seats” as far as critics. And I’ll need to remember that as it’s open to criticism on reviews (Amazon, B&N, etc.) . That is quite frightening in fact. Ah well. It’s on its way.

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  11. Absolutely you must do it and without regrets and personal recrimination. I have been ‘meaning’ to write my memoir for so many years that it’s almost a joke. Yes, Without vulnerability, there is no creation, and we have to be mindful of that and just get on with it! Best of luck. Can’t wait to read it 🙂

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    1. Thanks Johanna. This book was 2 years in the writing stage and a year in the editing. So it certainly wasn’t a short time. If you really want to write your memoir, just start. It doesn’t matter how long it takes (or if you ever finish or publish). I like your “without personal recrimination” also…. I need to remember that!

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  12. You have a wonderful post that speaks of many of the inner voices many of us struggle with. I am enough. An excellent message to share and that I need to take note of.
    Best of wishes for your new book!
    Sharing for MLSTL

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  13. I am in total awe of anyone who writes a book Pat – the amount of thought, time and talent that goes into putting one together is amazing in itself, then to put yourself out there to publish it is even more scary. I think you are much MORE than enough my friend – go out and conquer!
    Thanks for linking up to MLSTL and I’ve shared on my SM 🙂

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    1. Thanks Leanne. I personally think anyone who can create multiple blog posts a week can also write a book. Maybe not a fiction story with plot line and dialogue. But a compilation of A to Z posts (26 chapters!) that is entitled “Exploring More”…. hmmm? It’s just a matter if you have a passion for it since self publishing is something you pay for yourself as well. To me it’s a passion project. Others pay for fees to enter races or lessons to learn to paint…. I paid to publish a book. And thanks for continuing #MLSTL. I really enjoy connecting with so many folks every week.

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  14. Hi Pat, I think that’s wonderful news and congratulate you (and your inner voice) for persevering! You are more than enough 🙂 . I have a confession to make I have never read or seen anything of Brene Brown but have heard lots about here from others. I wish you well in your next project, whatever that will be! #mlstl

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    1. Debbie, I had seen reference to Brene Brown a number of times and finally did delve in with a book (my preferred learning style). There’s quite a few YouTube clips on her as well, so you might do that to get a sense. I’m probably going to blog about my learning from her work next week too. I think we get the messages we need (from the Universe) when we need them and right now, I needed to hear “you are enough”!

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  15. Congratulations Pat on publishing your book and I;m sure that after reading your blog posts the book will be ‘more than enough’! Like you I am always second guessing myself and wondering if I am enough but lately I’ve taken to thinking that yes, I am. I am me and if I know I’ve given my all to something then that is enough. Thank you for sharing at #MLSTL and reminding us to not be so hard on ourselves. I’m looking forward to reading your book. xx

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    1. Thanks Sue. And thanks for continuing #MLSTL… I love knowing on Wednesday that I’ll have a whole list of bloggers to read and learn from. And I’ll be honest… I am hoping my blogging buddies do read my book. The topic is the same as my blog and I’ve used some of my blog posts directly in it. Maybe I’ll inspire other bloggers to turn their blog writing into a book? 🙂

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      1. I would love to write a book of all my learnings since starting the blog but alas the self doubt comes into play and then Ms Overwhelmed makes an appearance! I will definitely promote your book on my blog and in my newsletter. Maybe we could do an interview for a blog post?? Anyway think about it but I love promoting others in any way that I can. I look forward to Wednesdays for two reasons, I love #MLSTL and the community we have formed and also I have all of my favourite bloggers in one place so I can comment. Keeping up with commenting on all the blogs I follow can be difficult so this is a great way for me to keep in touch with them. Have a wonderful weekend, Pat. xx

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      2. Sue, Thanks so much for offering to promote the book. When it’s done, I’ll be sure you have all the right links. And yes, I’d be honored to do an interview. Given our time zones, it might need to be virtual! LOL.

        Maybe in the future, you could look at doing a book. You have so much you could pull from in your blogs – the challenge would be to focus! One of my readers asked me to summarize how I went about it, so I’ll be writing that post soon. Maybe you’ll be inspired. Or not. It’s something I really wanted to do – a passion project for sure.

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      3. When you are ready Pat, I’m ready so just send the links through. Yes it might have to be a virtual interview unfortunately 🙂 I would love to write a book but as you say it is the focus that is the challenge. I look forward to your post about how you did it. Have a great weekend.

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  16. Firstly, congratulations! I’ve now published 4 novels – 1 chick lit, the others more contemporary women’s fiction. I’m writing my next one now. In each, my voice grows and in each, I’m more frightened than the time before when I click that publish button. You are enough, your book is enough and feeling the fear and the doubt is just a function of your personal investment and belief in the outcome. Go for it – send that book baby out into the wild.

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    1. Jo, I’m not sure I could create fiction! I’ve been a synthesizing technical writer my whole life and the thought of creating story line, dialogue, and description from nothing is almost incomprehensible. You so impress me creating this way and putting that level of creativity out into “the wild” soon to be five times. Just wow.

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      1. I have no idea how I do it. I spend my days on corporate stuff yet then my brain switches to my characters and they take over. It’s something I can never attempt to explain.

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  17. YES!! I’m so excited for you, Pat! Not only did you finish the book, you witnessed personal growth in the process. I would say it is a Win-Win so far 🙂

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  18. Congratulations on finishing the manuscript! Good luck the rest of the way. I know you well enough to know that if you use someone else’s idea, you will provide attribution. You will also provide a new view and new insights into the collective subject matter that has preceded you on this topic.

    Marcel Proust said this in La Prisonnière:-
    “The only true voyage, the only bath in the Fountain of Youth, would be not to visit strange lands but to possess other eyes, to see the universe through the eyes of another, of a hundred others, to see the hundred universes that each of them sees, that each of them is; and this we do, with great artists; with artists like these we do really fly from star to star.”

    You, with your book, will be helping us to “see the universe through the eyes of others”. You have read their works, synthesized them with your own experience and presented all of them in a way that will make it comprehensible and digestible for a wider audience.

    Your work and you are enough! You’ve done more than 99.9% of the trolls out there (whom you should thoroughly disregard). I can’t wait to see the final product.

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    1. Bob, thanks for your kind words. You know I’m a synthesizer, so your comment about that really hit home! I love that you think this will be comprehensible and digestible too. I certainly hope I live up to your expectations!

      And yes, there will be a big announcement about when it’s available. We can meet for a glass of wine for your signed copy! 🙂

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  19. I think most people misunderstand the word ‘enough’. It means that you don’t need more. And that’s perfect for most of us. Do your best – it will be good enough 🙂 Visiting from MLSTL

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    1. Michele, thank you so much for your kind words. From some of your own blog posts about presentations, I think you understand the fear this is creating … and I am working through it everyday right now. The book is a stage where there seem to be something to review daily! I’m hoping excitement at having it in hand will eventually tame those voices even more.

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    1. Marty – Hmm. Good idea for a blog that I had not considered. I’m working with a small self-publishing press here in Florida … near Orlando. Of course, everything is on-line or on-phone. They are pretty much walking me through the process (for a fee, of course!). I’ll start drafting a post this weekend I think.

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  23. Hi Pat! Congratulations. And I totally understand all your fears because I certainly have them and I think most authors do. You just have to push forward. In case you didn’t read it, here is a post where I share some of the some of the things I’ve learned along the way that you might find helpful (just delete the link if you think it is too promotional!) And Im looking forward to reading your book! ~Kathy https://www.smartliving365.com/lessons-learned-on-the-road-to-self-publishing/

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    1. Kathy, thanks for the link and I will look at it. I’m working with folks at a self-publishing press who are definitely hand-holding me through the process. But it’s always helpful to learn more.

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  25. This is so awesome!!!!! It is hard to do things that are out of our “norm”. And especially after we have had successful careers and spent years doing something that we were excellent at! I feel the same way about dancing. I will never be perfect, I won’t even be as good as I want to be. But I will be good enough. I will be doing something that I love and that will be enough.

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  26. It’s hard to put ourselves “out there” so congratulations on finding that courage. I’ve always said we each need to define our own idea of success based on what is right for us and not what others or society might think. It isn’t always easy but being content with ourselves is so worth it. Can’t wait to read your book!!

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    1. Not worrying what society thinks is an ongoing challenge for me as I spent my entire life trying to meet expectations and fit in. Even now, I worry about the reception the book will get… from you and the other folks who read my blog. When I think about that, the fear escalates… but then I re-read my own words. It will be enough.I will be enough. And repeat.

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  27. Pat- that’s amazing! Congratulations on bringing the dream one “big” step closer to reality. I can’t wait to see how it all came together, to read your voice on the page, and to gain some insight from your experiences. Well done and good luck through the remaining stages of publication!

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    1. Hey Mike! Yeah, only 3 years after our chat about “how to publish”! But it’s almost done (did the second typesetting review this weekend). Everyone will know when it’s ready…I’ll be posting, FB-ing, emailing, LinkedIn announcing, etc. If you have any thoughts on the promotion end, send them over. I know you did a few unique things.

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  29. Bravo, Pat! You express the same insecurities I have about my writing, and my new life in retirement. Without the identity of a career that I relied on for so many years, am I enough? A friend told me that just by being me, I am enough. I look forward to reading your book about this transition of retirement. I am in early stages and while doing better, still have days when it is difficult for me.

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    1. Molly, I’m into year 4 and still have days when it is difficult. Can you say slow learner? I recall your previous comment from your friend (just being you is enough)… what a great pal to have! I’m going to add that to my mantra’s – Just being me is enough. Although somedays I (still) wonder who I am without the career. That’s my continued focus, who am I without the job definition. It’s a work in progress.

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