I realized recently I have developed a very strong habit of delaying gratification, of putting things off, of saying ”I will do that someday”. Guess what – someday is here!
But strongly held habits, ones you’ve had for years, are hard to break. And I’ve been putting things off for year and years. Even talking with folks who are facing the reality of a body betrayal and having to give up their dreams has not helped me completely break the “someday habit.” I really am not sure what I am waiting for!
There are quite a few things on my someday list: learning jewelry making, losing weight, cooking healthy, being active, traveling more, learning to swim. I’ve been trying a few things to change my “someday habit”, break the delay gratification mindset, and make sure I know that now is the time.
One tool I am using is trying to determine if the things I’ve been putting off are truly things I want to do. How will I feel in 5 years if I don’t do this? Am I willing to work – put in the time and effort – towards making this a reality? Will I enjoy the process of learning that new skill, achieving that goal, making that thing happen? Or does the learning process look to be more like frustration? If I’m not willing to work at it, then I just need to acknowledge it is a fantasy and will never be reality. What things (dreams) do I really want to chase?
Is there something else that is holding me back? Am I afraid of failure? Embarrassment? Am I waiting for the perfect alignment of things? Yes, yes, and yes. So to resolve that: How can I set realistic goals for the things I want or reset goals in the learning process? How can I use affirmations to remind myself that:
- Someday is today!
- It’s OK to be a beginner! Let go of the expectation of being an expert. Be joyful in the learning process.
- Start small! Plan a small step towards the big future vision.
So what is happening: I will plan a trip to New Orleans – just put it on the calendar for May and do it. I will be joyfully creative in jewelry making, and not worry how “good” the outputs are. I will recognize that I am not willing to put in the effort to lose weight, but I will plan activities with friends that are not always passive or food-centric. And, I will ask myself regularly – what are you waiting for? Today is the day!
What are you waiting for someday to do?
retirementtransition 
I love how you’re approaching your goals, especially accepting that the effort required for weight loss isn’t top priority right now. (I can relate to that for sure — it’s so hard to find the time for the most important things to me already!) That’s not to say that it won’t be higher priority later on, of course, it’s just honoring your priorities now. Can’t wait to hear about your trip to New Orleans!
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For me, the answer to your question rests in getting my arms around what I want to be doing with my time. I find being intrinsically motivated to take action is much more challenging than when I worked full time and the extrinsic forces just pushed me along. It is a bit of a paradox. I have the time to do whatever I want and there are days I just don’t know what that is! Thanks for the thought provoking post. Sandra
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Yes, sometimes there are so many possibilities! But I also found that I needed a kick-start on some things. Someone said to me yesterday – just try it – you’re not committing your whole life to it. So I’m taking a pottery class next week. Just to push my creative side a bit!
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Yes – experiencing some of the same delays! They are fueled in part by fear of spending too much money, still adjusting to the change in income. And I’m working on starting up small business–I find myself using that as an excuse not to just let go and do. Thanks for sharing that I am not alone – we just have to “Nike” – just do it.
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I am also adjusting to the change in income. I actually had not thought that might be a deterrent, but I think it is a bit for me as well. I keep having to telling myself, I’m OK financially. I would not have retired early without that being the case, but every unexpected bill (latest – new hot water heater!) and stock market bad news sends me into a bit of a tizzy. So, I guess it’s another affirmation to my list. Start small and inexpensively!
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