Are There Unmet Needs?

The end of the year always awakens in me a desire to do a life review – how am I doing with my retirement lifestyle vision, how is my wellbeing, what’s working/what’s missing, what’s the plan for next year! I recently saw an article about Maslow’s hierarchical needs which had some great insight questions for determining if you are meeting your personal needs or if you have unfulfilled needs. The Maslow Hierarchy of Needs is an older, simplistic psychological model, but it’s a decent framework for thinking about needs in the area of personal wellbeing. I’ve recently heard the phrase “move from survive to thrive” in my trauma recovery, and felt this framework might be interesting to re-explore.

Do I have unmet needs right now preventing me from thriving?

Physiological Needs are the base of Maslow Hierarchy and include eating, drinking water, and sleeping. We often dismiss this need area since it’s the base, and of course, we take care of our basic needs (in my socio-economic arena). So, the questions came as a surprise when I could NOT answer them with a resounding yes.  How about you? Are you eating enough whole and nutritious food to well nourish your body? Do you feel well-rested each morning when you wake up? Are you staying well hydrated every day? My answers made me realize I’ve fallen off on eating a good quantity of fruits and vegetables every day, I’ve reduced my daily physical activity to maybe 2 times a week, and I’ve never really gotten into the habit of drinking enough water. Changes are needed as this is the base of thriving and healthy wellbeing.

Level 2 Security and Safety Needs includes financial resources but also a feeling of safety and security in the home/environment.  While I was (luckily) fine with the financial security questioning, it was hard to also accept that the current political/social environment leaves me stressed and anxious daily, and that I don’t feel safe in my own space. I need to be working on tools to relax and feel grounded – calming music, diffusing essential oils, and less reading of political posts are good starts to help me move into thriving. How about you? Do you feel financially secure? Does your home/environment leave you feeling anxious or stressed? Do you feel safe?

Social Needs are level 3 in Maslow Hierarchy and include the needs for love, acceptance, and belonging.  I was happy that I could say yes, I have people around me whom I can count on and, yes, I have people with whom I interact regularly. I am also accepted and supported by so many people around me. I don’t think I could have said a resounding yes to these questions until recently.  I’ve always had the strong support of a few, but never felt the belonging I desired.  I’ve finally begun moving away from the friendship fantasy and come to an acceptance of the reality of the friendships in my life. How are you for having people around you that accept and support you?

Esteem Needs in Maslow Hierarchy are the needs for appreciation, respect, and feeling valued. It’s also about self-love, self-talk, and self-acceptance. This was a mixed bag of responses as the questions included: Do you feel appreciated at work (including non-paid work), at home, and in social circles? Is your self-talk mainly positive or negative? Do you recognize and appreciate your good qualities?

I’m aware that I struggle with unmet needs in the esteem area, with a continuing belief of not being good enough. I struggle with self-acceptance and self-love. This quote sums it up: “When you don’t love yourself, you find it hard to believe anyone else does.” I continue to seek external validation from others and my mind often races with the woulda, shoulda, coulda. My reaction is usually a feeling of worthlessness when people say things or do things that are critical of my work or fail to recognize my involvement or contribution. I have difficulty accepting compliments, am quick to suppress my needs/strengths to avoid conflict, and quite often resent others’ success.

There are ways to work on this self-esteem area: engage in hobbies, learn new skills, practice positive affirmations, celebrate your accomplishments.  I will continue to work on this space so I can move into thriving.

Self-Actualization Needs in Maslow Hierarchy are feeling a sense of purpose, feeling connected to a higher power, and evolving as a person. It’s about being comfortable being your authentic self, using your skills and natural strengths in an enjoyable way, and having fun with being alive. It’s being satisfied you are making an impact on the world, even in a small way.  An interesting question here, reflective of loving your life, was, “How often do you laugh?”

Even with my unmet needs in self-esteem, I seem to be doing OK in this area. I consciously work to find joy in everyday life, regularly explore creativity, practice self-reflection through journaling and blogging, and strive to be my authentic self.  I can definitely work on being more spontaneous (and having fun), being open to new experiences (versus worrying about risk or failure), be less concerned with others’ opinions, and more aware of what I do that does make a positive impact on others.

Re-exploring Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs at this point definitely identified for me some areas that might be preventing me from thriving. As I enter the new year, being on the path to final house recovery, it has provided me with some ideas to add to my 2026 life plan so I can say, “Yes, I am moving from surviving to thriving”..

Do you feel like you are thriving? Did re-looking at Maslow Hierarchy of Needs spark any ideas for your life? 

Picture: No house update this week as minimal visual progress. This is a picture from our local “light up the park” event. Even with Florida’s continued warm weather, we decorate with a Santa sleigh and reindeer!

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