When I was working, I found it exciting to manage multiple projects simultaneously. I had juggling multiple balls down to an art. Those project management skills are needed again and unfortunately feel very, very rusty. In retirement, I had embraced less multi-tasking and a slower pace of getting things done. As part of our hurricane recovery, I have a long must-do project list – so many balls to keep in the air! I worry about missing things I need to be doing and slowing the physical recovery process down.
Each morning in my journal, I’ve started to note which balls I need to toss in the air that day. I’ve got 10 large ones related to hurricane recovery (each with multiple elements) and other smaller ones related to life. I’ve found that each day I can only manage 3-5 different balls in the air. And even that makes me mentally exhausted by the end of the day.
Some of those balls are about kicking and scratching for every cent due to us from various insurance companies. Many balls involve long wait times on the phone (an hour is not uncommon!). Some balls are fixing mistakes made (and not berating myself for them) and some are nudging along of others who need to do things (mostly out of my control). There are check offs and new things to add. I worry about doing things wrong and having to redo (which has happened multiple times already – hurricane brain). Everything seems to take so long to get done!
On the positive side, we have aligned to a path forward with the house (full demo and build elevated) and chosen a builder (general contractor). We have contracted with an architect for plans, a demo company to tear down the existing house, a survey company for some of the paperwork needed for permitting, and a soil sampling company to determine number of pilings we need to meet code. When I write that all down, it feels like a lot of accomplishment, even though it feels slow – none of the work is actually done yet! And there is so much to still start, even before we begin to think about all the build design questions (flooring, cabinets, fixtures, etc.).
At some point, I hope to return to the slower pace of retirement living I’d come to enjoy. But now, I juggle and each day I choose which balls to toss in the air. Is today FEMA or an insurance company follow-up and if so, which insurance company? Is today pushing along the house demo and if so, which element of that project? Is today a life element (like travel plans or finishing our trust set up or a Board of Director meeting prep/follow-up)? What live-in-the-moment thing am I doing today? And yes, even thinking through which of the multiple balls to toss in the air can make me feel tired!
Do you like a slower pace or multiple balls in the air everyday?
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pathope you are well. I couldn’t find your email, so hoping this reaches you. Going through old photos and came upon this one from us in Dubai. Thought you might like this one of our henna. Email me directly if it doesn’t come through
Kristina Martinez
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Pat, reading this makes me even more grateful that you took a couple hours out of your day to help me by sharing your gardening skills. Hang in there.
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Ange – It was a nice break from dealing with house stuff! I need to keep doing things I love along the way to alleviate the stress. Plants, cardio drumming, beach walks, dinners out, the theater…things I love! Those “life” elements need to be in those 3-5 balls a day!
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It sounds like you have some major challenges. Also that you have figured out a way to manage them that gets you through the day without going nuts over it. One day at a time.
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Eilene, One day at a time is key. As is flexibility… got a call at noon yesterday that one of the subcontractors I’ve been trying to secure to do something could be at the house at 1PM that day! I’ve learned you take the call when it comes in (I leave my phone on in meetings, at meals, at appointments – I let folks know why) and subcontractors whenever they show-up. Thank goodness I am retired!
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If anyone can handle this, you can! Those skills may be rusty but they’re still there! I wish you didn’t have to do all this but I know you can. Hopefully, you can continue to find some joy along the way.
I was overloaded this past year with my grandson’s issues and trying to make my old life of workout and dance fit in. It didn’t work and I felt overwrought a lot of the time. However, for 2025, my grandson’s medical issues are pretty well over, I’m cutting back watching him, and dance may go by the wayside for working out. I have felt relieved these last couple of weeks, so I’m going with – I have found that I like the slower pace of retirement.
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Candyse, thanks for the vote of confidence. I also like the slower pace of retirement. Recognizing to not take on more than 3-5 things a day has actually helped right now. (Today, I’ve done 2 before 10 am! and I am not stressing that the insurance was a completely unsuccessful call with a 20 minute hold time.) Things will get done. PATIENCE! Luckily my general contractor is really chill – he can usually calm me down when I start to swirl about the house items (if I can get him on the phone).
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Pat you are very qualified for this unexpected load – you have latent skills that are all resurfacing. I can’t begin to imagine how daunting the load is, but breaking it down into smaller “balls” is probably the most sane way to deal with it all. One day this will be a memory – and it’ll make you appreciate the gentle rhythms of retirement life even more. Hang in there – progress is definitely being made. 🙂 x
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Leanne, Very much looking forward to a return to that gentle rhythm! I am being choiceful on what I take on this next year, as the “house build” will take a lot of mental space. And recognizing to only do 3-5 “balls” a day has actually helped right now. I’m looking forward to some of the craziness as well, like shopping for new appliances and furniture (which is not even a designated ball yet). Remind me of that “looking forward” statement when I begin to moan about it!
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Similar to you, I multi-tasked every day at a fast pace in my career until a disability sidelined me way too early. Now I take it step-by-step, project by project, because everything takes more time, has more individual hassles, and is tiring. We learn as we live; we live as we learn. I know it all will get done. But it will get done at a steadier, surer pace at my self-direction. We do as we must. I read your blog and thank you for its honesty in the face of so many life changes and challenges. You will survive. You will adjust. You will tire. But, in the end, there will be happiness and peace and self-fulfillment.🥰🦾
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Thanks for joining in the conversation here on the blog! Years ago, I recall being in a very stressful time where I could not even see the light at the end of the tunnel. This time I can, so I do know that it will eventually be done. But patience (my WOTY) is key, working things through step by step, acknowledging the minor wins, taking care of myself both physically and mentally…and remembering to do all of that! Today, I know what my 5 balls in the air are!
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