When I retired, I made a conscious effort to become a more positive person. During my career, I was a critical, cynical pessimist. I was the first to point out the issues in anything, including what might go wrong 3 steps down the path being taken. I even had a boss once tell me I would never be happy. I wanted to be happy. I liked being around positive, happy people. I needed to intentionally change my mindset.
Part of my conscious effort was exploring Positive Psychology and the science of happiness. Later in my retirement, I even took courses on these topics. I continue to modify my Positivity Practices as I learn new things. Currently, I practice intentionally living the following tenets:
- Savor the Little Things in Life
- Write Morning Journal & Daily Gratitude
- Invest in Experiences
- Intentional Connections – IRL & Virtual
- Be Active – Daily Movement – Functional Fitness
- Appreciate Time Abundance – Time to Just Be
- Embrace Self-Empowering Beliefs; Shift Negative Self-talk to Positive
- Shift Compare & Despair to Observe & Admire
- Understand my Triggers; Use my Glimmers
- Look Inside for Validation; Listen to my Intuition
- Connect to Nature
- Adequate Sleep & Manage Body Maintenance
- Encourage my Love of Learning; Get Crafty
Every morning as part of my journaling, I (attempt to) write down three things I was grateful for from the previous day. I’ve always enjoyed seeing other people’s gratitude posts and so thought I might share some of my items from the past month.
I am grateful:
- We were spared by hurricane Ian (see blog link). I know that many were impacted and have felt a bit of survivor guilt. I found some peace in giving to the relief efforts.
- For our close proximity to the beach which allows for lots of “Beach Walk & Talks” with friends, both in real life and virtually.
- I found Cardio Drumming. I has become my favorite fun activity that is also a phenomenal workout.
- I finished the corked bottle centerpieces (a few pictured in post header) for a local Wine Fest. And I am grateful to have found a fun craft that provided a philanthropic opportunity to donate the centerpieces. I enjoyed making them and folks who have seen them seem to like them! [Wine Fest is in a couple of weeks.]
- For Fall Fun with Friends. Activities this fall so far included a shuffleboard evening, live theater dinner date, attending professional soccer game, hosting my ladies book club, and going to a magic show.
- Time ….to explore assisted living facilities for my mom, to do some early morning full moon shelling, to re-read a full book series (blog link), to explore crafting (with corks, beads, glass, shells, dried flowers), and to donate volunteer time to the local Garden Club.
- My hubby is willing to be my plus-one on activities, from a local evening Art Walk to a morning of kayaking and shelling. They might not be his first choice activities, but he’s happy to go along with me when I need the emotional support.
Practicing daily gratitude definitely helps me keep a more positive mindset.
Do you have a regular gratitude practice?
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Oh I can totally relate. Thanks so much for sharing. I used to look outside for validation. I used to always feel like i was not enough. Then I started journaling. I would write down all my accomplishments and achievements to remind myself that there is so much i’ve done and there is so much to be thankful for. I am enough.
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Journaling is my morning meditation – it grounds me, uplifts me, helps me also recognize I am enough. I still struggle with looking for validation….. and yeah, that is part of why I blog!
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I admire your dedication to a positive mindset. I like how you researched it and found what works for you. I don’t know that I have a formal practice, but I do say “thank you” often, both out loud to others and quietly in my mind. I am grateful by nature, I guess.
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Ally, how wonderful you express gratitude and appreciation to others often. I try to do that as well!
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I’ve never heard of Cardio Drumming before… I think I’ll check it out.
My husband (a retired engineer) can always point out possible pitfalls for just about any situation. Because his mind works that way, he worries… a lot. I, on the other hand, figure that most things will turn out fine, with a little attention or preparation, or just because most things do (privilege, I know). I think somewhere in the middle is best.
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Janis, It takes work to not look at all the possible pitfalls when it’s more your natural tendency to do that. Yes, I am an engineer by training as well. 🙂 This past weekend I even said out loud, “I’m going to take this event as it comes. I will not worry about it going in any preconceived way. Whatever happens will be fine.” Gosh, that was hard!
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Cancer helped me focus on gratitude and positivity. Sounds like retirement is doing the job for you!
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My time dealing with cancer solidified some of my positivity practices actually. I had started some before then and I’m so glad I did as they helped me manage through it in a very upbeat way. I look back to who I was while working and am so glad I am no longer that person!
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Oh and cool use of those bottles
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During my recent encounter with Covid I did a prairie forest walk to get my head around a better space. I found 6 gratitude items. I don’t often write them down but as I get into bed I often think of 3 items. Ike someone else Journaling felt too contrived so I just note them in my head. Also as someone else said I can’t imagine you as all negative so kudos to how you changed. HOPE for us all to embrace our better selves.
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Bernie, Ending the day with gratitude is a lovely idea. I’m more a morning thinker, so it helps me to start my day with gratitude. Love the idea of a prairie forest walk to think about gratitude as well. I’m going to plan a lake walk (no prairie near me, no forest either!) for a change of pace and see about adding gratitude thinking to it.
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Pat, I googled Cardio Drumming and found the most wonderful video. What a hoot! If that doesn’t put a smile on your face, nothing will. It is easy to dwell on the negative things in life, but doing that serves no purpose. Like everything in life, expressing gratitude and living life with a positive attitude is a choice.
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Suzanne, it is a hoot. I’ve been doing it now for about 4 months, and I still laugh and smile in every class. Plus sweat a ton. Definitely addicted to it and hoping twice a week will start to impact my body (toning it up more.)
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I’ve always been a pretty positive person and try to look for the ‘silver lining’ in all situations (much to the consternation of other folks!). I tried to do a daily gratitude log a few years back but I didn’t keep up with it; I find daily journaling a chore rather than a release 😕 and that’s OK, it’s just not for me. I’ve also been more focused on Investing in Experiences rather than ‘things’ and I especially love this tenet: Shift Compare & Despair to Observe & Admire! I’m gonna ‘steal’ that one! 💖
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Sharon, Steal away! It’s been challenging for me to shift away from Compare & Despair. Even to find an alternative way of thinking about it… versus just saying “don’t”. Do let me know if “observe & admire” works for you… it’s a new phrase for me to try on! You did it well with the journaling – knowing it’s not right for you. 🙂
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I don’t do anything to practice gratitude but I should. It’s easy to feel grateful when things are going well. I need to remind myself how good my life is even when things are challenging. It’s too easy for me to let myself get down in the dumps.
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Having a daily gratitude practice has helped me through some of those down or challenging times. And yes, even pick me up from an annoying day (yesterday was one of those days!).
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Hi Pat – I find it hard to imagine you as such an unhappy and cynical person pre-retirement. You certainly don’t come across in that way at all, so all that work on positivity must have really payed off. I think gratitude is a huge factor, and allowing yourself time to indulge in some fun is working really well for you too – I love the sound of cardio drumming and I bet you work up a sweat!
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Leanne, It’s nice to hear that I no longer come across as an unhappy , cynical person. Some days it does pop back out … yesterday was one! LOL. But my gratitude practice, a favorite drink (no, not alcoholic…. a real cream soda), and cardio drumming this morning (yes, I sweat at it!) has helped settle me back into a more positive mindset. I like myself better when I’m more positive.
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